#...maybe we'll give them the lavender again...

[silent-sentinels]

hkjgh NONE OF US CAN DECIDE CORE'S COLOR. we went for like? a near-black at first. and then switched to a light purple. and then a gold color, and then lightened that gold into a shade of cream? and then a deep, dark blue. and now we've settled on some light cerulean shade.

it doesn't help that Ceres is like. perfectly pliant and complaisant about anything we choose for them hkjhg like!! do you have any opinions on this our beloved core??? our dearest main??? the one that all of us orbit??? no????? nothing??????

[ddejavvu]

mean!logan who instantly goes soft when reader needs to use the safe word 🥺

Safe Word - Logan Howlett x Reader

contents/warnings: smut, minors dni. mean!logan, use of safe word, don't like don't read.

The harsh grip that Logan has on your hips melts into a softer, sweeter, more tender thing as soon as the word leaves your lips, 'Apricot!'

You gasp for breath as Logan's hips stop abruptly, giving your abused pussy a rest from the relentless thrusting of your superpowered lover. It's not his fault that he can go more rounds than you, but you need a break.

His nose nudges at your cheek, his lips pressing chastely there against your jaw.

"Okay. Okay, alright. Calm down."

You're sure he can hear the rapid beating of your heart, maybe he can feel the tightness of a sob pent up in your chest. The uncomfortable stinging of your overstimulated cunt begins to fade but you're not ready to go again, instead relishing the way that Logan's thick thumb brushes sweetly against your cheekbone.

"Relax." He collapses beside you, grunting soothing words as you clutch desperately at the bedsheets like they're your lifeline.

"Easy," Logan murmurs, reaching for your fingers and prying them off of the sheets. He may be the one with claws, but you're close to ripping the sheets. You're more than happy to trade fabric for flesh, gripping gratefully at his hands as he settles in beside you.

"What's'a matter, sweetheart?" Logan croons, and you're not surprised by his newfound tender side, but you have to admit you forget that it's there sometimes. He's typically stoic and gruff, and sometimes you forget that his lips can press so caringly to yours when typically he uses teeth.

"It- I was- that's too much. For me. I'm not- I need a break." You babble, and he runs his fingertips over your tense grip on his hand.

"Right. I forget sometimes." He admits, butting the bridge of his nose up against the sloping of your cheekbone, "We can be done for tonight. Can you stand?"

"Hm?"

"We'll take a bath." He proposes, but when you stay silent he adds, "Nothing like that- I said you're done for the night. I'll clean you up, that's all."

Warm water and lavender scented bubbles call your name, but you're reluctant to part from the warmth that Logan's chest emits. You burrow against it in a silent plea, and he seems to understand what you mean.

"Alright." You're sure there's a toothy grin on his face as he buries his nose in your hair, pressing a kiss to your scalp. "Come on, then. It'll be harder to do if you're sitting on me but I'll figure it out. Ready to move, honey?"

You could. You're not feeling light-headed, only residually sore, so you could walk to the bathroom with almost no issue. Instead, you tuck yourself further into him and release a noncommittal groan into his chest. He scoffs, but it's fond rather than disparaging.

"Christ, you're really milkin' this, aren't you? S'okay." He hums, hovering over you briefly once more, only for long enough to roll over you and land on his feet beside the bed.

"Alright, head up," He instructs, guiding you to rest your face against his neck as he carries you bridal style into the bathroom, "You're lucky I love you. Pretty sure you can walk, sweet thing. But I'm a gentleman, so I'll carry you."

You want to make a comment about it, something snide like, 'There's nothing gentle about you.'

But there is: his hands carefully support your weight instead of manhandling it around, and his lips puff primly to press against your temple. He's rough around the edges, mean for lack of a better word, but he loves you, so he's gentle.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Okay, so this is a little inspired by @dazzle02's post right here. Enjoy! 🥰

"Let me move in with you," said Evan.

And.

And Tommy looked up at Evan.

Blinking.

There wasn't anything particularly special about tonight. Neither of them had that bad of a shift the day before, all things considered. It was after dinner. They were both in pajamas watching Shark Week. Besides Shark Week, there wasn't anything life-altering or important that would have made Tommy remember this lazy Thursday night.

But then again, something amazing always happened with Evan around.

Life-altering was Evan's modus operandi.

They met when Tommy was flying them into a hurricane. They got together after Evan maimed one of his best friends. Their second official date was at a last-minute hospital wedding when the original wedding had been canceled.

Dating Evan was nothing Tommy had ever experienced before.

And Tommy never wanted to stop.

"What?" Tommy laughed, not sure if he heard that right.

He was staring up at Evan. His head was in Evan's lap and Evan just - he kept playing with the curls in Tommy's hair; staring down at Tommy like he never wanted to look away from Tommy as he said, "Let me move in with you."

And it harkened back to that beer Evan still owed Tommy.

That Tommy was never going to let Evan give him. No, Tommy loved the idea of still being tied like that. To forever joke about the beer Evan still owed him.

"You want to move in with me?" asked Tommy.

And it wasn't that Tommy was against it. The moment Evan brought it up, all Tommy wanted to say was yes, yes, of course, Evan, yes.

But.

They had only been dating maybe four months at this point. Tommy wasn't against the breakneck pace Evan seemed the most comfortable in, but at the same time, that was a big decision. And that wasn't to say that Tommy didn't believe that Evan would want this, but it was always good to be absolutely sure.

"You've got a kickass garage. You've got the best beer in town. I heard a beast lives here. Why wouldn't I want to too?" asked Evan.

"Evan."

"Tommy."

Tommy snorted.

"Tommy, I hate my loft. I hate my fucking loft. I got it with my girlfriend Aly because she liked it, and then she almost immediately broke up with me. I haven't been able to decide on a damn couch in that place. I don't know why I have two balconies," said Evan, "But none of that is even why I'm offering this."

Tommy laughed.

"Offering?"

"Tommy, I - I miss you," said Evan with all his heart; a little broken.

Tommy reached out; placed a hand on Evan's cheek.

"Evan. I'm right here," said Tommy softly.

"I miss you when I wake up and you hadn't slept over. I miss you when I try out a new dish and you're not there to taste-test it. I miss seeing you just randomly reading Chef's Choice or The Dos and Donuts of Love or - or How to Find a Princess or Better Than People or The State of Us on your couch whenever I walk into your house with the key you gave me. I miss the lavender you insist on making your house smell like. I miss you when I get in my car and realize we won't be carpooling. That you won't insist on driving and I won't get to play you music as we start our drive early so we can take a scenic way to my work or yours. I just miss you. All the time. I want to fucking live in your pocket. Which is a lot. I know. But I want that. I want you. And I'm so sure you want that too."

And.

And okay, if they were being honest.

"Evan, I - I wake up and it feels empty if you're not here. If you're not sprawled on top of me when I wake up. If you're not laughing and insisting that we take a shower together. That if we do, we'll be saving water. Despite the fact that you know full well that it takes double the time with how distracted we get. I miss you when I walk up to my coffee maker and you're not there to play the 'guess how Tommy takes his coffee' game that I think you're failing on purpose at this point - "

"No, I'm not," said Evan like a liar.

"Oh, I know you are," laughed Tommy, "But I kind of love that because it's still fun. And I miss you when you're not there to get into my Mustang with that jerry-rigged contraption of yours that somehow forces Bluetooth to work on my stereo. And how you keep showing me all these new and amazing songs I never would have dreamed of finding on my own."

"People are sleeping on Kehlani," said Evan.

"Yeah. I know," agreed Tommy, "And - and I miss you when I don't get to kiss you goodbye and hear you say you'll see me after your shift. And I miss you when you're not there to pick me up or if I'm not there to pick you up and you kiss me hello and ask how my day was and tell me all about yours. And I'm not saying we need to be glued together. But I am saying that every moment I get with you makes my whole day better. My week. My month. My year. My life. And, uh. I don't know, maybe you owe me moving into my house."

Evan laughed.

"Oh, I owe you now, huh?"

"I mean, you offered. Pay up. Move in."

Evan laughed harder, leaning down to kiss Tommy. And it was an awkward angle, and the kiss was a bit messy, but it left Tommy breathless; left Tommy swimming in overwhelming yes.

"Okay. I guess I'm moving in," said Evan happily, his smile soft and so excited.

"Yeah, you are," said Tommy as he pulled Evan back into another mind-blowing kiss.

[luveline]

hi jade!!! i was wondering if i could request a bassist!remus x roadie!reader fic in which they spend time together on their day off from touring? maybe reader is totally surprised that he even asked her?

hi gorgeous!! modern au, fem 1k

cw vague adult theme, mdni 

"There you are," Remus says, as though he's said it a hundred times before, and he'll say it a hundred times again. "I've been looking for you." 

As a roadie (merchandising, mostly), there's no reason for Remus to know who you are, nor care, but he seems to like you anyhow. And there's nowhere for you to hang out in your downtime beside hotel lobby's or your literal assigned seat in the minivan, so here you are, in your pyjamas, laying on a random lobby couch with a book smushed to your chest. 

"What?" you ask, wiping the sleep from your eyes. 

"I've been looking for you. You weren't in your room." 

"I share my room with three other girls, one who has sleep apnea." The muscles in your back sing like plucked strings as you sit up. "It's quieter here… You're looking for me?" 

"Mm. Come on. We'll go get a late dinner." 

"I'm in my pyjamas." 

Remus gestures down at himself. "I thought you might be." 

He's dressed down too. Every roadie has their thing —it's hard, learning so many names at once, and eventually people begin to typecast one another as their most defining feature. Yours, to your indifference, seems to have become your more comfortable clothing choices. You're not gross, everything's clean, but is everything acceptable attire for going out into the world? 

"No one will even notice they're pyjamas," he assumes you, holding out his hand expectantly. "They look like jogging bottoms." 

"Remus, they're lavender." 

He pulls your hand toward his chest, encouraging you to stand. "They're nice." 

He ferries you out of the hotel, and you thank your lucky stars you wore your converse rather than the hotel slippers. He's clearly thought about this, offering you a hoodie (your size, clearly swiped from the merchandise van, 'marauders' written in jagged lettering across your shoulders like bat wings) as he explains the details of your trip. 

"First we'll get dinner. Then see a film in the cinema, if you want to? They have the new Exorcist." 

"I love horror." 

"I know." He nods to himself. "And then I have to buy you fresh donuts. James says they're the only way to eat them." 

"You don't have to buy me anything." 

"Sorry, I should say it differently. I'd love to buy you fresh donuts. If that's what you want to do." 

You peek at him from the corner of your eye. "I would've stayed in the lobby if I didn't want to come out with you." 

"In that case," he murmurs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 

This is worse than flirting. It feels like an initiation, or a turned tide. You smile at him from under his arm and he visibly pauses, falters, before his own smile hooks and he walks forward with a little more purpose. 

The day moves on as promised. You eat a quick dinner at a mid range restaurant before he takes you to the cinema, where he insists he doesn't want any popcorn but eats half of yours anyways. Then he takes you for donuts, and the entire time, you're thinking, what does he want from me? If Remus wanted sex he could fuck a groupie. Half the techs would crawl into bed with him if he asked. Maybe he's just gentlemanly? 

But why would he wanna fuck you? Ignoring any self-esteem issues, you're in cuffed bottoms and bare-faced, and he has no reason to believe you'd be any good in bed. 

He might want something slower, he decides. It's easier to believe when he asks if he can hold your hand on the walk home. 

"What?" you ask, sure you heard him wrong. 

"Can I?" he says, offering you his palm. 

It's different from his pulling earlier. You give him your hand and he squeezes his fingers between yours slowly, as though savouring the feeling.

You shake your head. "Was this…" 

Remus waits for you to finish. It's hard to ask under the weight of his gaze, happy but with that air of knowing you can't quite crack. He always seems so put together, even when he's asking for things, like any answer you give is one he's prepared for. 

"Was this a date?" you force out. 

"That depends. Did it go well?" 

"I would've said yes, if you asked me." 

Remus leans in like he's telling a secret, his voice hushed to match. "I know," he says gently, the tiniest hint of smugness threaded in the slight scratch of his voice. "That's mostly why I didn't ask." 

"Mostly?" 

"I couldn't face rejection. Not from you." His eyes light with an emotion you can't name. "But if you still want to reject me, I'll cope. It might be good for me, actually, it'll give me some material. Nothing makes for better music than losing a pretty girl." 

You fluster at his wording. "I would've worn something nice," you say apologetically. "If I'd known. I would've made an effort to look nice." 

"You always look nice. You think I'm put off by your pyjamas?" 

"Stop," you mumble, mortification creeping in. I can't believe I just went on a date with a rockstar in my pyjamas. 

"It's cute. You're cute, I love that you can fall asleep anywhere–" 

"Stop!" 

Remus laughs and pulls you that last inch into his side, elbow to elbow, hip to hip. "I can't. Teasing you is half the fun. It's why I haven't mentioned the powdered sugar on your lip." 

You sigh and turn your face away from him, wiping your lip with your sleeve. "You always do this." 

"Don't wipe it off, I'll get it. It'll taste sweet." 

You take your hand out of his. "Did you want this to be a date? I'll change my mind." 

He's kinder after that, and when he rubs your shoulder like he knows you need it, you almost pass out. 

[sopebubbles]

Three

Masterlist

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: The boys talk to you for the first time, but that doesn't really make anything any better.

Warnings: this chapter contains explicit depictions of child ab*se, including physical violence and abusive language, please take care. The tough parts take place in a flashback in italics. otherwise you should be okay.

wc: ~5k

When you first gained some consciousness, your primary thought was that you felt like shit. Were you sick? Or was this just what heat felt like? You had not let yourself go into heat in so long, not since you came to this city almost two years ago. You didn't remember it feeling like this. Painful? Yes. The ache you felt now was different and worse than pain you usually associated with this event, but at least you knew you hadn't been fucked within an inch of your life. No, your sex ached for something it hadn't received. 

Knot. Knot. Need a knot. Your inner voice chanted, desperate to have your needs met, to feel your body full of something. You groaned and rolled to your stomach. Moving only made the ache worse and drew attention to other problems. You were soaked. Your torso, neck and face felt sticky with tacky sweat. Your thighs even more so with thick, sweet smelling slick that leaked out of you all night long. 

Disgusting. That was the other voice in your head, the one that told you to deny every stupid, foolish need your body had because they only hurt you. Filthy animal. Admittedly, that voice did not sound like your own, but rang with the echo of multitudes. 

You wanted to get up and clean yourself off, but your body was weak and tired. Taking a deep breath to gather your strength, you caught several scents. Citrus and lavender. Leather and cotton. Something else too, maybe pine nuts. And over everything a heady sweetness. The voices in your head argued. 

Alpha. 

Several. Run. Hide. 

Find alpha. 

Not safe. 

You wanted to listen to them both but instead you just took another breath in and fell asleep.

The next time you regained consciousness it was because something cool and wet was licking your body. No not licking, but definitely wet. Your eyes jolted awake and you looked up directly into the eyes of another omega. You could tell by the softness of his cheeks and by the warm brown sugar coming from the scent gland in his wrist, right under your nose. He was wiping the sweat from your skin with a damp cloth. 

"Hello, little pup." His voice was soft but there was no expression on his face to tell you his intentions or if he was a threat. But he was a stranger so you immediately began to squirm away. That was when you realized you were entirely naked, mostly covered with a blanket but still bare underneath. The man sighed and put down the wash cloth picking up a different piece of fabric. "Here, you can put this on," he said, holding out a shirt for you. 

You took it from his hands and used it to cover your chest while you waited for him to move, to leave or at least turn around. When you only stared at him for several seconds he smirked. 

"Honey, you're the one who took your shirt off and begged me to remove your bra last night. Don't get shy now."

You looked around the room, but no one else was there to witness your shame. Still there were so many smells around the bare room. Sweet scents worn into the mattress from the Lykos who slept here, their owners must be around somewhere. The man sighed again while he stood. "I'll give you a few minutes to get yourself together. There are a pair of boxer shorts here. Sorry, there aren't any ladies in this house to borrow from. I'm Hoseok by the way. I'll come back in a few minutes and we'll have a talk about what's going on." He left and closed the door behind him without waiting for your response. 

It took a second to shake off the surprise after he'd gone, but once you did, you picked up the damp cloth he'd left on the bed and continued cleaning yourself. He had not yet cleaned your chest and after taking care of that you wiped up the mess between your legs, shuttering at the sensitivity there. You pulled the shirt over your head and then moved to the edge of the bed to stand and put the shorts on. But your legs trembled weakly and you sank back to the bed. That shot any plan of running out of here. As you tried to think of what to do, a knock came and the door opened before you could answer. 

Hoseok returned with two other men, but he let them pass and remained by the door, which he left ajar. You moved back into the bed to create some distance between you as the taller man sat at the end of the bed. 

"Y/N, my name is Jungkook. I'm a police officer. And this Jimin. We found you on the street last night and we brought you to our home. You're safe here." His voice was smooth and kind in a way that had your inner voice purring, begging to bring his familiar scent closer so you could slip back down into the gooey softness of heat. 

"Am I in trouble?" You asked in a quiet voice. 

"Of course not, pup. We just want to help," the smaller one, Jimin, did with a smile. 

"How do you know my name?"

Jungkook blushed. "Full disclosure: we went through your things last night trying to find your pack."

"I don't have a pack," you informed them quickly. Jungkook nodded with what seemed like regret. He had clearly been able to learn that much on his own. "Where's my bag?"

Jimin bent over behind the foot of the bed to pick up your oversized black purse and handed it to you. You dug inside until you found the clattering bottle of pills and pulled it out. "Those won't do you any good now," he commented as you tried to take the cap off. Even your hands felt weakened. You paused and eventually lowered them to your lap. 

"Just as well. I hate these things. They make me so sick."

Jimin took a subtle step closer and put his hands in his pockets to show he wasn't a threat. "Then why do you take them?"

You're quiet for a second. That was an incredibly personal question to ask a stranger. "Because it's better than feeling like this."

Jimin looked like he wanted to ask more questions in this vein, but he held back in favor of letting Jungkook speak. "Is there anyone you can call who can look after you?" You avoided their eyes as you shook your head. "In that case, our pack alpha and pack omega have agreed to let you stay until you've recovered."

Your eyes snapped up to the omega by the door. He was the only one you'd smelled here. You took a breath in through your nose, and you weren't sure before but you were confident now that there were four alphas living in this house, although only three of them seemed to be outside the door. The citrus one you smelled so close last night was missing. Danger. You brought your knees up and hugged them protectively. 

"I have somewhere to go."

"The True Life Ministry?" Jimin asked. You nodded your head. "They won't take you in like this," he told you, but you already knew that. 

"This could last three or four more days. Minimum," Hoseok reminded you. You closed your eyes and let the misery of that truth wash over you. 

"We can't reasonably let you go out on your own in your condition, Y/N. You might not remember, but Jimin and I found you in a very dangerous situation last night. It would be much safer for you if you stayed here. I will personally ensure your protection." 

You looked up to meet Jungkook's doe eyes and found them full of sincerity, begging you to do the one thing you were never able to: trust him. But you'd already learned yourself that you wouldn't be able to get far on your own, and you knew exactly what kind of awful things could and would happen to you if you stayed out on the street. So trust them or not, you knew you had no other choice. You nodded your agreement. 

"I'm supposed to work the next two nights," you said quietly, not sure why you thought you needed to tell them. 

"Someone can call them and tell them you won't be able to make it," Hoseok offered. 

You sighed. "That's okay. I'm probably fired after not showing up last night anyway."

"Our pack alpha is a lawyer. He can be very persuasive." His eyes focused outside the door, presumably to look at said alpha. 

You tried to swallow around the lump in your throat. "Your alphas. There are…"

"Four of them," he told you. "They won't disturb you. They're forbidden from coming in and you don't have to see them if you don't want to."

You nodded but your mind was at war with itself once again. 

Alpha. Need alpha. Please. 

Too many. Too dangerous. They only want to breed you like an animal. 

But you could be so warm, so full. You need them close. Ask them to come in. Please.

The silence in the room made the air stale the longer you fought with yourself, and when you finally looked up it was clear they had all taken note of your disturbance. 

"Thank you," you managed to say, not because you truly felt grateful but because you wanted desperately for everyone to leave. 

Hoseok cleared his throat. "Okay, well, I'll get you something to eat while you're still lucid." It was difficult to predict the ebb and flow of heat, but this break wouldn't last much longer. Normally, during his heats, the pack would be there to care for him and ply him with food and water to keep his strength up, but it didn't seem like that was going to work for you and by the time the next wave of senselessness hit you, you wouldn't be able to feed yourself.

Jungkook and Jimin backed out of the room and Hoseok followed behind, leaving you alone again. He walked to the kitchen to prepare you a bowl of stew. He'd gotten up early this morning to prepare it so that it would be ready when you came around. Taehyung came to stand beside him at the stove. 

"Do you think that went okay?" He asked, hoping that Hoseok could report something different in what he saw from what Tae had smelled in the tangy apple cider vinegar scent coming from you by the end of the conversation.

"It's hard to tell, Tae," Hoseok hedged. "It seemed like the idea of so many alphas around made her a little nervous." 

Taehyung let out a dejected little 'oh.' 

"It's probably best to keep your distance, baby," the omega warned softly. It had tugged at his heartstrings the night before when his youngest alpha had suggested that maybe a good cuddle would help a little bit, but it seemed clear now that would only freak you out. "I'm sorry."

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. "It's okay. I don't want her to be uncomfortable. It just seems wrong for her to be alone like that, you know?" He held a hand to his chest as if he really felt the pain of it in his heart. 

Hoseok reached up to pet his messy hair. "What a good alpha I have. I would never be able to resist your cuddles."

Taehyung preened at the praise, musky leather scent enveloping him. 

"I need to do a few things. You eat and when I'm done we can cuddle and watch something, okay?" Tae nodded silently and took the bowl that was offered before Hoseok filled another one. 

This time he didn't knock before entering your room and found you sitting in the same protective position he had left you in. He set the bowl down on the table beside your bed and moved away. You looked between the bowl and him but did not move to grab it until he turned his back to you. He heard you sniff it and hum softly to yourself before the spoon began to clink against the porcelain. You began to take greedy spoonfuls of the hot stew while he walked back into the hallway. From the linen closet in the hallway Hoseok gathered several beloved blankets and fresh sheets. When he returned to the room you were slurping up the thick broth from the bottom of the bowl and set it aside with sheepish eyes, as if he would take such behavior as anything but a compliment. 

"Do you want some more?" He asked, but you shook your head. He had a whole pack to feed and you shouldn't take too much. "If you get up for a minute I'll change the sheets."

"You don't have to do that!" Something in your belly felt deep shame knowing how they smelled of your heat and the mess you had made. 

"Don't be silly. There's no point in staying in messy sheets. And you don't need to feel embarrassed about it. We all do it. That's why I always keep a lot of clean sheets." You lowered your face at how easily he had seen through you, but got off the bed when he waved a hand at you. "And I brought lots of blankets. Unless you're more of a pillows kind of girl. I'm sure I can find a few spare ones."

"Pillows for what?" You stared at him blankly as he began to strip everything from the bed.

"For your nest, pup."

"Oh. That's okay. I don't nest."

"Jimin said you're not allowed at the shelter, but you are here!" Hoseok said cheerfully, the mere thought of building a cozy nest to sink into filling him with joy.

"No, I mean I don't at all," you replied, and he paused to turn to you. 

"Never?" You shook your head. "Why not?" 

You scratched your nails up and down your arm, squirmy under his scrutiny and shaky on your legs. Hoseok dropped the spoiled sheets on the floor and when it seemed like you wouldn't answer while he watched you, he picked up a clean sheet and began to stretch it over the mattress. 

"It's bad for you, isn't it? I mean, they say it's unhygienic. And it makes omegas lazy."

Hoseok scoffed and turned to give you an incredulous look. "Who told you that?"

You shrugged. You'd heard it at home and probably at school more than once. The few times you had tried to nest they had told you they didn't want it or a lazy omega. 

Hoseok was speechless. Who would have told you something so plainly untrue? Nesting was an important part of emotional well being for omegas. It was harder not to do than to do. It was important for the pack, too, making sure that all members had a comfortable place to rest. Making sure that all scents were present was important to maintaining bonds and bringing comfort. How could you deny yourself such a basic need?

Not knowing what to say, he simply finished putting the sheets on the bed. When he was finished he took the old sheets under one arm and grabbed the empty bowl with his free hand. He stopped to look at the pile of blankets and then at you with troubled eyes. 

"I'll just leave these here in case you want to give it a try." Maybe your omega instincts would kick in during your frenzy when you couldn't meet your other needs.

Hoseok left without closing the door and walked briskly to the kitchen, catching Seokjin’s attention from where he sat searching for something to watch on Netflix. He was trying hard to pretend it was just a normal Saturday in an attempt to keep everyone calm. When he heard the bowl clatter carelessly in the sink he moved Namjoon's feet from his lap and got to his feet. Namjoon followed puppishly at his heels since comforting his distressed omega was a better distraction than the book he was trying and failing to read.

"What's wrong?" Jin asked when he found Hoseok in the laundry holding the bundled sheets, staring blankly into the washer. "Sweetheart?" He took the dirty cloth away gently and put them aside so that he could pull his mate close and look him in the eyes.

It took him a moment to find his voice. "She said that nesting is bad."

Jin scrunched his face in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"She said she doesn't nest ever, because someone told her it was bad for her."

Jin shook his head. "That's crazy. Why would anyone say that?"

"I don't know," Hoseok said, shaking his head. "Jin, it's like she's totally broken. Like she doesn't even know how to be an omega."

"Maybe she never had one," Namjoon offered from behind them. "I see it with my students. They're adopted out by saps when they don't have packs who can care for them, or if they don't think the pack is doing things right, and they're told all their instincts are wrong and that they need to fight them."

The omega looked at him with a horrified expression. "Why?"

Namjoon shrugged. "There are saps who think we live on the line between humans and animals, and if they can convince us to give up our 'animal ways' then we can find a way to being human."

"That's sick."

"You have no idea," Namjoon mumbled as he looked down at the sheets that were somehow now in his hands. 

Hoseok forgot his shock for a moment to level a stare at the alpha. "Namjoon, what are you doing?"

"Hm?" The man struggled to tear his eyes away to look at his mate. 

"Go on. Sniff them. I dare you."

Namjoon hesitated. This was a trick and he knew it, but your scent was so goddamn inviting. Slowly he lifted the bundle toward his face.

But Hoseok snatched it from his grasp before he could and threw it in the washer. "You are a fucking animal," he grumbled. 

After he got the washer running he took Seokjin back to the spare room with him. The alphas had agreed to use the scent blockers they found in your bag–Yoongi was the only person who used them regularly at work, but never kept any at home, though he promised to pick some up to replace the ones they were using. It wasn't perfect, but it did enough to keep them sane around you. 

Once again, Hoseok entered the doorway of your room but didn't come much closer. You had taken precisely one of the soft blankets he had offered you and wrapped it around your shoulders before positioning yourself in the exact center of the mattress. He could see you shake slightly and the expanding of your pupils told him you had mere minutes left before you'd be insensible again. He wanted nothing more than to take every blanket he had given you and build you the coziest nest he'd ever made, just to show you how it's done. But even then, he knew it wouldn't be a great nest if you were in it all alone. His heart sank into his stomach. You blinked at him as he remembered his purpose.

"This is our pack alpha, Seokjin. Would you like him to call your job and see if you can work something out?"

Seokjin gave you a gentle smile and a wave from the hallway. The boundaries had been clearly drawn for him and he would not cross that threshold as long as you were there, except in a life or death situation. 

You shrugged noncommittally. You didn't meet the alpha's eyes. "I don't know where my phone is." 

Hoseok took a few steps closer to hold it out to you. "Taehyung charged it last night. That's why it wasn't in your bag," he admitted.

You took the device to unlock it and quickly choose the correct number before handing it back. Maybe you knew you were close to dropping and wouldn't be able to participate in the call yourself. Hoseok handed the phone off to his alpha and Jin pressed the button before putting the phone on speaker. After several rings, a gruff voice answered. 

“Hello, I am calling on behalf of Y/N,” Jin started tentatively. He hadn’t prepared. 

The person on the other end paused for a long moment before responding, “yeah?”

Jin cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I’m calling to let you know she won’t be able to come to work for the next several days. She is under the weather.”

The man on the phone grumbled something. “Tell her not to worry about coming back. Marissa said something about her going to heat or whatever the hell fucking thing.” Jin’s face went hot as you buried yours in your arms. 

“That’s not grounds for termination. The service industry does not require that employees disclose secondary gender-”

“Yeah, well, they should. Failure to show up for her shift is grounds for termination.”

“The circumstances were unexpected, but you were notified as soon as possible,” Jin tried to reason. 

“Sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. I have to go.” The phone disconnected before Jin could try another legal argument. He looked up at you with regret in his eyes. 

“It’s fine. It was a shitty job anyway,” you mumbled. But he didn’t miss the souring apple cider vinegar of your scent or how the distress showed on your face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Maybe I can-”

You cut him off with a sharp whine as you fell over to your side. Hoseok knew instantly and shook his head. He pushed the alpha back. “It’s too late, baby,” he told his defeated mate before he closed your door. 

Few people know that when you aren't getting fucked through your heat, it's like a fever dream. Like detoxing. Time isn't real anymore. It was hard for you to separate this time from all the other times you've been lost in this haze of instinct and need. You've been avoiding your heat for over a year just so you wouldn't have to relive these particular nightmares. In your daily life, it's all so much easier to ignore. If you talk to saps and they talk to you like you're one of them, it's easy to pretend that this isn't you, that your body isn't yours, that you've never been betrayed by yourself. And when you're alone, it's even easier to dissociate, to leave yourself until you're a little easier to be around. But here in this frenzy where you're hyper aware of who and what you are and what that takes from you, it's fucking hell. Your body feels twice its size and every nerve is screaming at you, begging to be touched in ways you don't want but can't stop wanting.

You wouldn't call what you did with what Hoseok gave you nesting per se. You were grateful for the clean sheets he had given you. These ones didn't smell as strongly of his pack, but hints were still there. At least for a little while they didn't smell quite so much like you. You allowed yourself to choose one blanket from the pile he'd left on the dresser. One cloud soft blanket wasn't too self-indulgent, right? You needed one blanket. That blanket was now twisted and tangled between your legs, providing little comfort from your tortured dreams.

Your first heat wasn't all that different from this one, if you're being honest. It came on fast and hard with no warning. Or maybe you just didn't know the warning signs. You had been in the room with the sap girls when they were told about their periods and about abstinence in the 6th grade. They were told they would bleed for several days every month for most of their lives. It would hurt, but that was normal. There were products they could buy to help. You weren't the only lykos girl in that room, but you all sat and nodded at the irrelevant information. None of you raised our hand to ask what heats or ruts would be like. None of the sap teachers would have been able to tell you. And you were all secretly hoping you wouldn't ever have to find out anyway.

You were sixteen when your first heat came. Every day you had just been hoping that you were a beta. That would be okay. If you were a beta then no one would ever have to know. They wouldn't be able to smell you. It would be so easy to pretend. But when it came, your adopted mom found you before you even knew what was happening to you. 

You weren't up for your morning chores, which would be bad enough on a normal day. When she came in, she found you had pulled the winter blankets out of your closet and made a cozy little nest. Incensed, she began to pull the blankets from around and beneath you, one hard yank sending you tumbling to the floor, landing in a heap. You whined as she screamed at you. 

"You know you're not allowed to do that. Filthy habits." When she came to pick you up by your arms, her hands slipped right off your sweat soaked skin, and she made a sound of disgust before wiping her hands on her apron. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Alpha," you moaned and got to your knees to try to crawl back to bed. 

Her anger flared white hot, and she grabbed you by the back of your shirt. She dragged you out of your bedroom and down the stairs, deaf to your cries of pain, and dumped you at the feet of her husband.

"Look at her. Look what she's done," the woman accused, as if you had chosen this on purpose.

"What's wrong with her?" The man asked gruffly.

"She's turning into one of those animals."

The man looked down at her over his glasses. "We should call the pastor over, just to be sure."

The woman shook her head. "No we can't. I don't want the whole town to know we were raising one of those things all these years." She looked down and wrinkled her nose at you. "Eli turned out normal. I thought she might, too."

The man sighed. "Then what do you suggest we do, Ellen?"

The woman thought for a second. "We'll drop her in the woods off the property and let her fend for herself. Maybe the coyotes will get her come nightfall."

The man sighed again before he bent to pick you up in his arms. He carried you outside and set you in the bed of the beat up pickup truck. The old couple got in up front and the engine roared to life. The rumble it sent through the whole truck was almost like a purr. It was almost a comfort until he put the truck in drive and set off, taking bumpy dirt roads to the most remote edge of the property and sending you rolling and thumping along the cold metal ridges, leaving you bruised like a peach on top of it all.

You couldn't hear what they said, if they said anything, when they set you on the ground by a tall oak tree in a spot that she had deemed far enough away. The blood in your veins rushed too hard and fast to hear anything for several minutes, and by then they were gone, and all was quiet. 

When you were lucid again, it was pitch black outside and the house was quiet. Even though your mind was momentarily clear, you felt disoriented to be in a dark and unfamiliar room. You were in a warm, soft bed that smelled slightly of warm brown sugar and apples. You felt out for the edge of the bed, finding it to be much wider than you expected, and pulled yourself to the side. Tentatively, you put your feet down one at a time, afraid to put your weight down and make a floorboard creak. When you quietly padded to the door on the balls of your feet, you couldn't find the light switch and began to panic in the engulfing darkness. You gave up and wrenched the door open instead. A soft orange glow from the living room was just enough to calm your nerves. Heavy, steady breathing came from that direction, so once again you tried to move as quietly as possible toward the front door.

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[jedipoodoo]

We Should Stick Together (Sergeant Hunter x Reader)

Notes: Based on the Whispers of Ghosts Series by @meadow-of-daisies-and-lavender. A semi-sequel to my previous vignette "Safe Haven". Reader is nicknamed Bright Eyes and formerly worked as a Social Worker on Kamino. Takes place between 03x09 "The Harbinger" and 03x11 "The Point of No Return". Slightly suggestive at the end there.

It had been several hours since Ventress's visit had drawn to a close. Omega was sleeping over with Lyana, recounting every detail of her brief training with the former assassin, and Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair sat around the table on Shep's porch, talking intently in hushed voices. Bright was curious, of course, but she let Hunter talk with his brothers as she helped Shep clean up from dinner. Shep insisted she didn't need to help, her legs were still sore and she had dizzy spells from time to time, but Bright liked feeling useful. Shep and Pabu had done so much for her, it was the least she could do. 

The dishes were almost done when the whispering on the porch ceased. Bright recognized Wrecker's heavy footsteps leading away from the house, and assumed they were all retiring to the ship. She quickly finished, made sure to say goodnight to the girls, and left. She was surprised to find Hunter waiting for her on the porch.

"Hunter, you didn't have to wait for me." she sighed, but smiled. She knew even with all the stress Ventress had given him, he wouldn't miss out on a chance to spend time with her. It was a luxury Kamino, the war, and her work on Alderaan had never afforded them.

Hunter rose from his chair and leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead, "I wanted to walk you home."

His voice was heavy with exhaustion, and Bright's heart fluttered. Hunter laced his fingers through hers, and waited for Bright to start walking before he followed. 

"I was hoping you'd come out and join us on the porch," Hunter said. Was that... Disappointment in his voice? 

Bright shrugged and rubbed her hands along her arms to warm them up, "I didn't know you wanted me there."

"I want you with us. With me." Hunter squeezed her hand. 

Bright pressed her arm against his as they walked. Hunter took smaller strides to keep their pace even. 

"What did you talk about?" Bright asked as they approached Phee's house. Phee rarely ever used it, and she insisted that Bright stay so that she would have privacy while she recovered from her recent kidnapping. Bright didn't mind the privacy, and neither did Hunter. 

"Ventress's warning," Hunter opened the door for Bright, "She said it would be too easy for the Empire to find us here."

Maybe Shep had been right that cleaning would exhaust her. Bright's legs started to buckle, and she sat down on the couch to take a deep breath. 

Hunter turned on the lights and sat next to her.

"Crosshair and Wrecker agree that the best thing to do is to leave." 

Bright's heart fell. Leaving again. Hunter and his family had lost every home they'd ever had, they didn't deserve to be chased all over the galaxy like this. Why couldn't the universe give them a break?

Tears began to well in her eyes as her thoughts turned more selfish. She didn't want Hunter to leave Pabu because she didn't want him to leave her. Of course, she'd been the one to leave the first time, but not because she had another choice. Then again, she supposed Hunter didn't have a choice here, either. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do to protect his family, especially Omega, and now that they'd gotten Crosshair back....

She couldn't keep Hunter to herself. She knew that when she first started to fall in love with him. 

Hunter cradled her chin in his hand, "Oh sweet girl, we'll come back of course. Once Echo and Rex figure out where Tantiss is, we'll help them destroy it. Then we'll be free, we won't have to worry about them coming after Omega anymore, for whatever reason."

That eased some of the ache in Bright's heart, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Good, I'm glad to hear that."

Hunter gently pulled her onto his lap, massaging the sore muscles in her thighs and lower back. He buried his face in her neck, and Bright felt his smile against her skin. 

"Where will you go?" She asked. 

Hunter paused, and lifted his head to look at her. 

"'You'?" he asked, confused. 

Bright blinked, and her lips pursed as she wondered what he meant. Now she was confused as well. 

"Bright, you're coming with us." Hunter said.

If his hands weren't supporting her back, Bright Eyes would have gotten whiplash. 

"What?" She stammered. 

Hunter placed his hands on her arms, gently grounding her. 

"Bright, I want you to come with us." He insisted.

Bright tried to say several things, but none of them made it from her brain to her mouth. 

"Do you not want to come with us?" Hunter's eyes reflected the lamplight, making him look like a kicked massif pup. 

"N-No!" Bright blurted, "I-I mean yes- no, I mean, yes, I want to come with you." she finished with a breathless gasp. 

Hunter's eyes shone, lifting his entire body with a smile,"Good." He pressed his lips to hers without another question. 

"I've almost lost you twice now," He murmured in between kisses. His lips brushed her cheek, her nose, her forehead, "Both times almost destroyed me. I won't leave you again." 

Bright sighed into the last kiss as Hunter's hands slid down her back, wrapping around her waist. Her earlier worries sounded so stupid now, of course Hunter would want them to go together.

She laced her fingers into his hair, bringing his head to rest against her chest

"I never want to be without you ever again," Hunter said.

Bright's whole body felt electric, like static primed to leap to the nearest metal surface. "Hunter, are you asking me to marry you?" Bright whispered. Her whole body tingled in anticipation, waiting for his answer. 

Hunter looked up, studying her. He was absolutely quiet, and Bright was worried that wasn't his intention at all. 

Before she could panic, Hunter pressed his nose against hers and took a deep breath. 

"When I propose to you, it's going to be just about the two of us. No Empire, no brothers, not even Omega. Just you and me. It's going to be on a day that only has happy memories for the two of us, something romantic, something you'll look back on and giggle like a child."

Bright ran her tongue over her lips. 

"I like that idea," She said. Hunter chuckled. 

"I thought you might, mesh'la." 

Bright felt like crying all over again, but now for an entirely different reason.

"I'm with you, Hunter. Now and forever," she whispered.

"Now who's the one who sounds like they're proposing?" He teased. Bright smacked his arm and Hunter's laughter rang out in the small hut regardless.

Before Bright could scold him, Hunter kissed her again. His hand slipped under her legs as the other flattened against her back, and Bright knew neither of them were going to get much sleep that night.

Hunter lifted her into his arms, and Bright diligently wrapped her arms around his neck to keep her balance.

"I think I need to make sure you know that I never want to leave you again."

[the-slittening]

Hi guys! Roommate update because I'm actually fucking insufferable and have anxiety AND a tendency to overshare, so I need to talk about this as quickly as possible. So, we met at a coffee shop, and they brought their dog and boyfriend. Their boyfriend was pretty cool, but I really only saw him for about 5 minutes. We just said hi, and then he had to go. I'll share a dog picture (and maybe another picture...) at the end! I got a lavender, vanilla, and honey frozen coffee, very good, would get again. We sat and talked for a couple minutes (really just saying hi, we already kinda know each other) and then decided to go walk around the other stores. We actually went to the park for maybe 15 minutes, then had to take their dog home. Met their siblings, very awkward, but they were just playing Minecraft, so it could have been worse. One of them said hi to the empty couch that I was nowhere near. Then we went to a candy shop, kind of uneventful. Then an antique shop! We found uranium glass, which we both thought was cool. Very glad I carry around a black light now! I can post pictures of that, too, I guess? Then, back to the coffee shop. It was kind of fun, actually! I don't know why I'm giving a literal play by play of the 3 hours we spent together, maybe because I have a terrible memory and even if this goes down in flame, I'm trying to be more happy(?) and I was pretty happy today. They're VERY respectful, it kind of shocked me. I for sure thought I'd be the one more similar to Phil, but just like in all of life, I am not. And that's okay. I kind of like being a platonic hopeless romantic. And who knows, maybe in 15 years we'll still be friends, and then again maybe not. This is actually the most optimistic I've felt in so long.

[sirowsky-stories]

The Old Prince

Part 4

Author's Note: Hello, again! I still can't get this story out of my head. I'm introducing a new element to it in this chapter, which we'll all get more acquainted with in the next one, but I'm adding an image at the end of this one, to give you all an idea of what it'll look like.

Description: After realizing that Oberyn hasn't been honest with you, life back home has becomes anxious, filled with questions that you fear may never be answered. But you still have to try and find some normality, and this year's Thanksgiving Ball seems like a good place to start.

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: Monster Oberyn Martell x Female Reader, AU fic, eventual romance, obviously Halloween themed, reader cusses, lots of angst in this one, overprotective coworker, slightly jealous Oberyn. Word Count: 6030 Author's Masterlist

   You’re back at work already the next day. Halloween has come and gone, which means it’s time to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and since you’re one of only four employees at the local holiday specials store, you’re sorely needed. September through December are the busiest months for this type of store, so every day you’re not all working is a minor disaster.    But if you’re honest, it isn’t your loyalty to the job that’s responsible for your quick return or the extra hours you’re putting in.

   It’s simply because the job is the only thing that takes your mind off him.

   When you’re home, he’s all you can think about. You hear his voice as clearly as if he’s standing in the room with you, asking questions about your life and then letting you prattle on for hours. Something you had attributed to his kind nature and polite manners.    Now though, it seems more like he was trying to learn as much about you as he could, for reasons you don’t dare to even imagine.

   He’d asked you about trivial things, like what book you’d last read or if you prefer to stack your firewood bark side up or down, which you still can’t see the harm in having told him. But he’d also asked you about your work, your people, your interests and how you spend your days, the answers to which must’ve allowed someone of his age and accumulated knowledge of people, to fully grasp your personality and character.

   So, why is that making you have a mild panic attack every time you think about it?    Because you have no idea what he might do with that knowledge. Maybe he was just curious. Maybe it makes no difference at all what you’ve told him. It is possible that he really was just happy for the company.    It’s the “what if” that plagues you.

   Because if he does decide to use his knowledge against you, the odds will be entirely in his favor, since you know nothing about him in comparison.    You want to believe that you wouldn’t have fallen for him (and you did fall for him) if he is indeed the monster that tried to kill you. But in truth, there’s no way that you could know that with any certainty.    Just like there’s nothing you can do to protect yourself from him, either way.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

   The hours are endless and deafeningly silent in the days after your departure.    He has never been one to wander, to have that restless tremor within, pulling one to their feet and refusing to let them remain still. But he does now.    The stone will quickly turn polished with all his wandering, should the feeling not subside soon enough, which it gives no indication that it will.

   So, he wanders. Through each of the nine wings and up into each of the nine towers, yours being the tallest, and the only one he lingers in. The only place that now offers him peacefulness.    He is aware that he still calls it yours, even though your stay was brief, and you will never again reside there. But it holds so much of your scent still.

   He sits there for hours sometimes, forgetting time all together as he drinks in your skin, hair, the faint lavender scent of your own sheets which you brought with you to this bed. He wonders how long it will take before he will no longer recall the softness of your lips. He thinks of them often, in the hopes that the memory might remain fresh to his senses for a little longer.

   But after only one week, his resolve is already faltering. He dreams of you. Wakes up screaming and drenched in sweat at the memory of his teeth embedded in your soft and tender flesh.    And other times, when the dream has been wonderful… he wakes up erect, longing so desperately for the mere touch of your skin against his own, that he cannot refrain from pleasuring himself to the very thought.

   This does not shame him, though. He is much too old to concern himself with the public perception of what is considered right or wrong among the many varieties of carnal pleasures.    The modern world would likely frown at his history of dalliances, as he has always been a man of omnivorous taste. He has never coveted children, but gender has never been an obstacle to pleasure, in his eyes.

   He has found that women offer a comfort and an emotional closeness that the males with which he has explored enjoyment in the past, have not given as freely. But this was long ago. The world has changed much since then, and gender appears to have become less rigid of late, which Oberyn finds most agreeable.    Still, it’s in a woman’s embrace he has most often felt at home and wanted, beyond that of the carnal.

   And then there is you.    His Valya, though his only by name, not commitment. The first person ever to command such control over his mind and senses. He feels almost enslaved by your very being, as though your mere existence demands his servitude.    And surprisingly, he has no objections to this.

   A terrible fatigue and weariness with the centuries upon centuries of managing himself, always fearful that a moment’s loss of control will result in carnage, has taken root within his being, and will not be untethered.    It festers there, making him increasingly agitated, whilst also draining him of all desire and every grain of levity that he had once possessed.

   But in your company, all this turns pale, irrelevant and silenced. You have freed his heart and brought light back to his soul, and now that he has felt it once more, he cannot stand the loss.    The slow, but still so noticeable, reversion to that caged and lonesome man who spends every waking moment fearing the dragon more than any man who might encounter him.

   Still, you are not as a drug to him. He does not crave you the way a drinker craves the bottle, enslaved by the need to consume, dull, and forget. Instead, he feels only brightened, strengthened and awakened by you.    In your presence, Oberyn comes alive, for the first time in ages feeling stronger than the beast, and therefor less controlled by it.

   Every waking moment, his mind looks for ways to relate to you. Everything he sees, smells, touches, it all somehow becomes about you, because that is how dearly he misses you.    And it’s getting worse.    Each day, he battles with himself over whether he has just cause to seek you out once again, and every day, pushing the victory to your favor becomes that much harder.

   He knows that he will eventually fail, because even if he flew to the other side of the world, there would be nothing to stop him from returning. Your house, work and people are known to him, so the day that he eventually fails to convince himself that you are always safer away from him, he will have no trouble finding you.

   It was you that kissed him. He did not ask you to. And that is the carrot which forever dangles before his lips, sweetening his thoughts with the notion that you might do so again, if given a chance.

-=<>=-=<>=-=<>=-

   It takes three weeks before you begin to be able to walk around outside your own house after dark, without fighting panic at the sight of every deep dark shadow, expecting to see golden eyes glowing as they stalk you.    The fear is still there, but with every day that passes without any sighting of the serpent, you’re starting to become less controlled by it.

   You tell yourself that he wouldn’t have let you go just to come after you again, that would’ve been pointless.    But you also wonder if the woman who’d owned this house before you, and who’d vanished without a trace one day over eight years ago, had really wandered off and gotten lost like people think, or if she too could’ve encountered your captor.

   All in all, over the past fifty years, the Seven Hills have claimed nearly thirty lives, half of which have been accidents when people have underestimated the danger of some of the trails, falling to their deaths over cliff-edges, or simply getting lost.    But the other half are unaccounted for. People who just vanished out there. Assumed to have fallen into crevasses or perhaps been buried under mudslides. Natural events.

   If Oberyn hadn’t brought you back, you would’ve become part of that statistic. Which is a frightening thought.    It’s all frightening. Just the reality that dragons aren’t a myth is enough to make you shiver in your bed when you’re trying to sleep, which you haven’t been able to do much of recently.    Fortunately, the holidays are tightly packed at this time of year, so you have no problems staying busy.

   The city council made a brilliant move around a decade ago, with the decision to create a separate account for all profits earned by tourism. The Seven Hills isn’t a city which depends financially on tourism, so it didn’t affect the overall economy. And the brilliance of this move, lay in what that money has since been earmarked for.    Which is celebrations.

   Holidays, anniversaries, and other significant events are all celebrated with parades, formal balls or just big parties, all at the expense of that one account.    The idea had come from a police officer, who had been concerned about a steady incline of violent crimes, and her hope had been that people who have fun together might be less likely to harm one another. Which had happily turned out to be correct.

   So, when you wake up on Thanksgiving morning, having managed to scrape together a handful hours of decent sleep, it isn’t a family dinner you’re planning on going to.    Not that you have any family to celebrate with, even if you’d wanted to. You were an angel baby, left at the front steps of the local church when you were just days old.    The woman who’d ended up raising you had been lovely, and your relationship with her had been good, right up until she’d died shortly after you’d turned sixteen.

   After that, the city had become your family, albeit a distant one. You like your coworkers and you do hang out with them outside of work now and then, but you’re not close. You don’t talk to them about personal stuff.    Perhaps because you’d started your life being abandoned, that’s what you’ve come to expect from everyone, so you shield yourself from caring too much. From letting people in.

   Which is why Oberyn’s betrayal hit you so hard. Because you did let him in. Against the wisdom of all your experience and even the fact that you had literally no reason at all to trust him, you’d told him everything that you never tell anyone.    In just a few days, he’d somehow managed to make you feel safer with him than with any other person you’ve ever met, and he’d done that despite knowing that he was the one who’d almost killed you.

   “Stop it…” you tell yourself, closing your eyes for a moment over your morning tea, because you’d promised yourself that you’re not gonna let him ruin this day.

   Not Thanksgiving. Not the one day of the year specifically dedicated to remembering and celebrating the positives.    This year, the city’s celebration is gonna be a ball at the old courthouse. It���s the fanciest building in town, made of stone and actually resembling a castle more than anything you’d normally associate with legal matters.

   It was commissioned in the late 1800’s by a wealthy lord who wanted criminals to know just how far removed from greatness they were, so he had every piece of metal within the courthouse coated with gold and silver, and every chair was made for comfort and splendor. Except the one offered to the accused, which was just the simplest and cheapest wooden chair that could be made.

   Because of the small fortune of precious metals, the house was prone to burglary and vandalism, so over time, its splendor lessened and by the time they stopped using it, some fifty years later, it was far from the opulence of its original state.    But around thirty years ago, the city decided that since it’s a historic building, it should be preserved, and spent two years and a lot of money on restoring it. And while the metals are fake these days, it still looks every bit as pretentious as it was always meant to.    It’s a perfect venue for any kind of party, though. And especially a ball.

   You’ve had a dress picked out and ready since before Halloween, but because you’re also part of the crew for this event, you won’t be putting it on until you’re already there. It’s packed and ready, along with some makeup and hair styling stuff, all of which you’ll need to remember to bring so that you can get changed once your work is done.    All the staff from the shop try to help out for these kinds of events because you’re the town’s experts on decorations, and you all enjoy getting to apply your skills on a bigger scale now and then.

   The party starts at 4 pm, with the mayor of the city giving his annual thankfulness speech, which is never as dull as it sounds, because the mayor is a former standup comedian, of all things. And although he’s pushing seventy now, he still knows how to work a crowd and get a good mood going.    After that, the dance begins. It’s a blend of classics like foxtrot and waltz, as well as line dance and even hip-hop, but the first one is always a traditional square dance.

   Everyone who lives here knows that one, because if you chose not to participate in the first dance, hardly anyone will talk to you for the rest of the evening because they’ll assume that you’re a person who just hates fun.    You know that because you made that mistake as a teenager.    After the dance, when everyone’s gotten their appetite going, the Thanksgiving dinner is served, and then the program ends and people can just hang around or go home.

   You arrive at the courthouse shortly before 9 am, after tending to Casper and triple checking that you remembered everything, finding two of your colleagues already there.

   “Hey, Boo,” Simon calls to you as you walk in with your bags.

   It’s a nickname you’ve earned over time, by managing to individually scare every one of your coworkers into falling to the floor, just by saying “boo”.

   “Hey, Si. How are we doing?” you answer, dropping your stuff in a corner and then looking over the boxes of decorations.

   “We brought all the labelled boxes, and Kelli remembered the glitter cannons.”

   “What about the balloons?”

   “Oh, yeah, Micah’s already working on those,” he says, and gestures casually towards an unspecified area of the building.

   “Great, then I’ll get started on the leaves and garlands. Unless you want help with the tables?” you ask, looking out over the large open space that had once been the waiting hall and grand foyer.

   It had been made to look like something out of the roman empire, with giant marble pillars recessed into the walls, serving no purpose other than to add to the grandeur of the room.    The hall cuts through the entire length of the building, perhaps a hundred yards long, and easily thirty yards wide, with a curved ceiling around fifteen feet off the floor at the center, and five big crystal chandeliers dangling from up there.

   It’s full of tables today, but the size of the room makes them look like something from a dollhouse.    In contrast, the empty courtroom which will serve as the dancehall, looks smaller than it is.

   “Nah, I’m good. You get going on that, I’ll let you know if I need your help,” Simon replies, so you smile and nod, before grabbing a box and setting off to the right where the big double doors to the courtroom stand open.

   It’s fun work, getting to decorate a place like this, and while all four of you initially work separately, soon enough, you’re all helping Simon in the foyer, because the tables always take longest and requires the most precision.

   “You know, you really didn’t need to bring your makeup, Boo,” Kelli says when you’re working side by side on the finishing touches of the table decorations.

   “What do you mean?” you ask her, but you have an idea of where she’s going with this.

   “Look, I don’t know where you went, but if it’s true that you were just lost in the woods, then you must’ve found the fountain of youth or something.”

   She doesn’t sound envious or even annoyed, just disappointed, and you want to retort so badly. To rebel against the notion that you’ve lied about getting lost in the woods just to cover up a trip to some fucking beauty clinic, or whatever.    But you can’t, because you can’t explain the change in your appearance.

   “Oh, I found something…” you say between tight jaws, unable to hold back your frustration at the mere thought of the slithering serpent.

   She can tell from your tone that asking any further questions isn’t gonna end well, so she changes the topic, instead getting back to the evening and how excited she is.    But when the time comes for the four of you to get ready, you find yourself standing there in your dress, staring in the mirror at the face that isn’t yours, and yet, is somehow also the perfect you.

   Not perfectly symmetrical or flawless in that kinda way, but just… perfect in a sense of natural beauty, perhaps.    Kelli’s right, putting makeup on is basically redundant, since there’s nothing really to improve. And if you’d had a choice in the matter, it might not have felt so artificial. But it does. It feels anything but natural.

   “Not today,” you remind yourself, meeting your own eyes in the reflection. “You can wallow as much as you want tomorrow, but today, you’re thankful to be alive and to have all the comforts you need.    And for Casper, your white knight. Even though he ran away.”

   When you walk back out into the grand hall, you’re met by the sight of people pouring in through the massive, double oak doors, in a slow and happily chatting procession. They’re allowed to sit at the tables if they want to, even though dinner isn’t for several hours yet, since there are only a few stone benches available throughout the building for anyone needing to rest their legs.

   Everyone knows who you are, so as you make your way through the crowd, you’re met with greetings and polite nods, but also a lot of slightly stunned and gaping faces as they look you over. You try to ignore it and just focus on finding your colleagues, but soon enough, you’re hearing people whispering about you as you pass them.    And suddenly you’re regretting picking such a glamorous dress.

   It’s golden in color, which you’d picked because of how perfectly it compliments your skin tone, but which now makes it feel flamboyant and excessive.    But it’s also the simplicity of it that drew you to it. There aren’t any garnishes, it’s just a softly flowing fabric that hugs your form in a very gentle and comfortable way. Not too tight anywhere, not restricting your movements at all, since the skirt is designed to make it look like liquid gold in motion.

   By the time you reach Simon, standing at the door to welcome people, you’re regretting having come here at all today.

   “Hey… are you alright?” he asks when he sees you, and while you notice that he too roams over your form with wide eyes, unlike everyone else, he doesn’t comment on it, and his gaze returns to your face with a concerned wrinkle between his brows.

   “Everyone looks at me like I’m a freak,” you whisper, dropping your head forwards to not have to see anyone’s scrutiny anymore.

   Ordinarily, you wouldn’t be particularly concerned about people’s opinion of you, and again, if this change had been your choice, you could’ve held your head high and ignored them.    But since it wasn’t, you’re left feeling unfairly judged, and knowing that you’re also incapable of defending yourself on this matter just makes it that much worse.

   Instead of trying to comfort you by telling you that there’s nothing wrong with you, Simon turns away from the crowd and gives you a long and firm hug. Because that’s the kind of person he is. He suffers from terrible anxiety himself, something he’s learned to live with and knows how to manage for himself, but which also makes him really good at understanding that words can be powerless against feelings sometimes.

   You thank him before he lets you go, because he’s already made you feel better, and he just smiles in return before getting back to work. You stay there next to him, letting his calm and positive energy infect you while you try to avoid looking at any one person for too long as you help him welcome them to the celebration.    The mayor is the only one who stops to shake your hands and thank you for your work, before he steps inside and prepares to deliver his speech.

   As always, he executes it with practiced ease and has the crowd in tears of laughter before the end, even though he’s managed to fit in serious things like being thankful for the continued decline in crime rates, or how well the city has recovered after a local factory had burned down six months ago.    He finishes by encouraging everyone to step over to the courtroom for the dance, and everyone does.

   The wonderful thing about dancing is that no one cares all that much what anyone else is wearing or how they look, as they move across the floor together. It’s just about having fun and letting the rhythm take you.    Still, once the square dance is done, Simon kindly comes to your rescue when no one on the floor offers to pair up with you for the next dance, which is a foxtrot.

   He’s not the best dancer in the room, but again, none of that matters as the point is to let go of expectations and enjoy yourselves free of judgement.    He doesn’t step away when the song ends and you’ve taken your bows, preparing to lead you on for the next one as well, but just as you take your positions, there’s a voice to your right.

   “May I cut in?”

   You stop breathing at the mere sound of it. The voice that’s haunted your thoughts and dreams for weeks now, the voice that heats your blood and sends shivers along your skin.

   “Uh… sure,” you hear Simon hesitantly agree, since you’re not objecting, and then step away.

   Still not breathing, you look up as the much taller Oberyn takes his place, confidently taking your waist and then your hand, sending sparks through you with his mere touch.    He looks exactly the same, donning his customary green coat and black trousers, as suitable at a black-tie event as they’d seemed in the dark and mysterious castle.

   The coat is one of those stand-up collar ones, with around fifteen silk buttons leading from his Adam’s apple down to his waist, where the weight of the fabric holds the two sides close together down to just below his knees.    And the sleeves stop over the base of his hands, not at the wrist, so whatever he might be wearing underneath, no one can see it.

   The only other time you’ve been this close to him (aside from the kiss) was when he’d carried you inside that first day, and you hadn’t been paying this close attention to him then.    But you are now. Because you wholeheartedly suspect him of being a monster underneath those clothes.    Still, not one bone in your body is telling you to run.

   “Breathe, Kaivalya,” he whispers close to your ear, and your body responds as if it had been a command, desperately filling your lungs until you start to feel dizzy.

   “You… you shouldn’t be here,” you whisper back, just as the dance begins and he starts to waltz you around the room as elegantly as if he’d been a professional dancer.

   “No, I really shouldn’t,” he agrees, and then pauses before adding: “But I can’t stop thinking about you.”

   The air flowing over his skin as he moves sends his natural fragrance straight into your nostrils, and it makes your knees weaken, stoking the heat that already simmers somewhere in your gut, clouding your thoughts with desire.    But it’s that feeling that gives you the strength to push away from him.    It scares you. The hypnotic way that you react to him. And that fear is enough to give you back your senses.

   You step back, almost colliding with another dancing pair, and when he lets go of you, you turn and start to make your way to the exit.    The air suddenly feels thick and hard to inhale, strangling you as you try to free yourself of the crowd, the music, and the strange sensation of your brain being caged by your own senses.

   Reaching the brisk winter air outside of the main entrance, you stop, holding on to a lamppost at the top of the stairs not to fall over with how dizzy you feel.    A hand comes to rest on your shoulder, but it isn’t Oberyn’s. Simon has noticed what’s happened and followed you outside. He’s a good guy, and you can imagine how that scene in there must’ve looked to him. But you would’ve preferred it if he’d left you alone this time.

   “Who is that guy, Boo? You want me to get rid of him?” he asks, but before you can answer, you feel him twitch and pull away from you.

   “You could not remove me however hard you tried, boy,” Oberyn says, and you can hear a dark tinge to his voice now.

   But it’s not arrogance. It sounds more like… jealousy.

   “That’s not up to me. If my friend doesn’t want you here, then you’re not staying, and I’ve got plenty of people here that’ll back me up if I ask them,” Si persists, entirely undeterred by the other man’s superiority.

   There’s a slightly possessive edge to the way he says “my friend” which would ordinarily have made you feel appreciative of his protectiveness, because you’re not actually that close. But today, it makes you feel like a toy being fought over, and you don’t like it.    You straighten up, having finally gotten yourself under control, just in time to see the serpent step closer to your colleague.

   “That’s enough, both of you!” you call out to get their attention. “Simon, go back inside.”

   “Boo-…” he begins to protest, but you cut him off.

   “I just needed some air, I’m fine. Please, just go so that we can talk.”

   He hesitates, throwing a suspicious glance at the other man, but then does what you’ve asked. Because in the end, he knows that you’d never agree to be alone with someone that you fear might hurt you.    But the things is, you do fear that Oberyn might hurt you. You just also need answers, badly enough that you’re prepared to demand them now that he’s here and can answer you.

   “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either,” you admit once the two of you are alone. “But I’m pretty sure that we have very different reasons why.”

   He remains at a respectful distance now that you’re not dancing, and you notice that the heat from before is starting to fade, leaving you exposed to the winter chill.    You cross your arms over your waist to keep them warm. There are no sleeves on your dress, so the slight breeze is already threatening to make you shiver.    Why is it that whenever you’re around this man, you’re either too hot or too damned cold?

   “What are your reasons, my lady?” he asks, and his voice is soft now.

   Not inviting or seductively soft, but more like it’s been subdued by worry and trepidation.

   “I need to know… what you are,” you say quietly, watching his face without blinking for fear that you might miss some revealing detail.

   But his features remain unchanged, and no answer seems to come to his lips, so you step closer while trying to fortify yourself against something, but you’re not even sure what.

   “Are you the one that bit me?” you ask, damned near choking on the last two words, but still, he remains statuesque before you, driving your fear into frustration. “Damned it, you owe me answers, Oberyn! Tell me the truth…… Are you the serpent?”

   For what seems like one endless moment, he merely stares back at you. But then, ever so slowly, a terrible sadness begins to flood his eyes.    He bows his head and closes them, perhaps trying to stop the feeling, but it just spreads. Spilling into his brows and forehead, and then down to his cheeks and mouth.    It’s subtle, and yet so distinct. So unmistakably sorrowful, as if drawn from the sky and the deepest recesses of the earth, filling every cell of his being with a pain unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

   “I will not ask your forgiveness… I could never earn such a thing,” he says, speaking so quietly now that you have to step even closer just to hear him. “I ask only that you believe me when I say that I never wanted to hurt you.”

   He opens his eyes again, and when he finds you standing closer, he backs away and shifts his hands behind his back, as if trying to keep them from reaching for you.

   “I saw you running, and I tried to distract myself by going after Casper, but it was too late. I had already caught your scent,” he explains, and you’re mildly impressed that he isn’t making excuses or trying to convince you that he’s worthy of redemption.

   “And if I were to run away now?” you wonder, trying to understand how the man and the beast are connected.

   “I would let you,” he replies quickly, clearly eager to make you feel as safe as you can around him. “In my human form, my human instincts are in control. You are never in danger from… me.”

   “But if you were to become that thing right now…?” you press on, still far from convinced of your own safety.

   He thinks on that for a moment, and there seems to be something uncertain to his conclusion.

   “The real reason why I sedated you for the journey home, was because I needed to fly you back,” he begins, and you can’t stop the sharp gasp and the two steps that you stumble backwards, away from him, as you hear that. “But even the beast is enchanted with you now, Valya.    I want only to protect you, no matter what form I might take,” he finishes, unable to keep himself from coming closer and extending a hand to you.

   “No, you stay away from me,” you warn, stepping back further.

   He stops cold, and the sorrow in his eyes transforms into something you can only describe as the purest pain imaginable. It cuts and tears at your heart, because even though he did hurt and lie to you, he doesn’t deserve to suffer this severely for it.    But however much you might want to ease his pain, you don’t know how, because you can’t reconcile with what he’s done to you.

   “As you wish, my lady,” he says, and his voice breaks at each word.

   He straightens himself, and then bows fully, dropping his entire torso halfway forwards in a perfect display of submission. And when he rises again, tears have filled his eyes to the brim.

   “Always…” he adds in a barely audible whisper, and then he turns and starts to walk down the front steps of the courthouse.

   The air cools significantly as he departs, and you wonder if that’s just your senses tricking you, or if he really does warm his surroundings by his presence alone.    Then, just as he reaches the ground, a faint glow appears in the sky, maybe a hundred feet to his left, and seems to swoop down over him.    He sees it, and stops walking to follow its journey with his gaze, as it makes an elegant turn which changes its direction towards you.

   And when it does, you can see that it’s an owl. But not like any you’ve ever seen before. It’s almost transparent, and when it flaps its wings, they seem to leave entire galaxies of stars behind them, fading as quickly as they appear.    It flies straight at you, landing on top of the half-pillar that makes up the corner of the stone railing to the staircase, where it folds its wings back and just stares at you.

   Mesmerized by its large blue eyes, you stare back, feeling as though an infinite mass of knowledge lies within this creature, and that it uses this knowledge to judge you.    It’s about the size of the golden eagle named Marahute in that Disney movie with the mouse rescuers, but the fact that you can almost see through it makes it slightly less imposing.

   If it is judging you in some way, it can’t be too damning a conclusion because you feel no discomfort from the being. In fact, for the entire time it stares at you, you feel nothing at all.    Then suddenly, it opens its wings and takes off with one large leap, fading into nothingness within just one little second.

   “Wow…” you breathe, having completely forgotten your worries for a moment.

   “You saw it?” Oberyn asks from his spot on the ground at the bottom of the stairs.

   “Yeah, it was amazing. What is it?” you wonder, taking your eyes from the sky and back to him, finding him looking extremely puzzled.

   “She is the Sky-spirit: Caelum. But…… humans cannot see her.”

   You stare into his eyes while his words reach you, and the implication behind them slowly sinks in.    The temporary reprieve of your emotional turmoil is wrung from you with ruthless force, and this time, it’s your eyes that are suddenly brimming with tears, your frame that’s brutally tortured by the inescapable truth.

   “What did you do to me…?” you accuse, glaring at him now because all you have left to turn to is anger. “What am I? What did you turn me into?”

   But as horrible as you feel, as much as these thoughts are plaguing you, your feelings still somehow pale compared to the enormity of his.    The knowledge that he’s robbed you of your own reality, seemingly without him even knowing how or understanding why, is mercilessly demolishing him from the inside.

   “I don’t know…” he confesses. “I am so deeply sorry, my dear… I have no answers.”

   Your tears fall as the cold finally creeps into your blood and makes you shiver. Hugging yourself, trying to come to terms with the thought that you don’t know who you are anymore, you feel so lost.    But then the air around you is warmed up once again, and you look up to find Oberyn before you. He takes you in his arms and hugs you close, flooding your body with that same heat as before, even now when you’re in too much distress to feel anything good.

   “But I will not stop until I have found them,” he promises, then he kisses your temple, pulls away, and with a gust of wind, he’s suddenly just gone.

Part 5

The Ten Spirits of the World Air - Forest - Water - Stone - Night - Autumn - Winter - Spring - Summer. (No, I didn't miss one. You'll see.)

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! If you wish to be notified when this story is updated, follow @sirowsky-stories and turn on notifications, or just ask nicely, and I'll tag you.

@kittenlittle24 @joelswritingmistress @pedrostories

[bartletslesbians]

Okay, so this is not technically on a friday anymore, but I wanted to post it anyway bc yesterday was chaos, and I didn't want to give up on this immediately.

Fic feature friday! Inspired by a post made by @the-last-dillpickle because I kind of love this idea of highlighting one or two older (although in this case, only slightly older) fics every week?

So I'm gonna try and share a rec and sometimes a self rec every Friday, each at least one year old.

And honestly, how could I not start with this one?

Icarus by @thistlecatfics is a 20,000 word long masterpiece.

Mind the tags on this one, because it gets pretty heavy, but it's a beautiful look at Parvati, Pansy, and Millicent after the second war. A dark and sympathetic look at young people who did bad things and are now quite traumatised and how they're really struggling to deal with everything that's happened. Taking care of someone at the cost of yourself while pretending you're not in need of help just as badly, but still this fic manages to end on a hopeful (all be it a little fragily so) note. Maybe things can look up a little bit, after all.

It's a Mature fic, 20K words (2 chapters), with warnings for substance abuse, addiction, suicidal ideation, implied/references sexual assault, and just the general vibe of people really struggling while attempting to recover from what happened to them. Again, it's heavy, but it kind of has to be. Absolutely amazing fic.

And then because Icarus hurts Parvati, I figured this self rec would fit the theme.

We'll Be Happy is my own 2K long little one-shot, which is Lavender and Parvati in the days leading up to the final battle. It ends during the battle, with Lavender's death and Parvati's reaction to it. Tarot spreads, an attempt to ignore what Divination is telling you, and the heartbreaking realisation that it was going to happen anyway. No one's happy here, don't believe the title.

It's rated Teen, and only needs the warning of Major Character Death (and I suppose as a consequence of that, also the tag Hurt/No Comfort)

[hpsaffics]

Authors are revealed for the HP Saffics Summer Exchange 2023! Check out the 33 fabulous double drabbles on AO3 or below 🏖. Treat giving starts tomorrow and will continue all week (Jul 21-Jul 28)!

1. wrenches, redheads, and romance, oh my! by @leftsidedown [G, Millicent/Ginny]

Ginny's apartment is in need of a little extra love.

2. Deal with the Devil by @storyof-eden [T, Hermione/Bellatrix, Hermione/Narcissa]

Hermione makes a deal in order to save the one she loves.

3. On Display by @sugareey-makes-stuff [E, Katie/Alicia]

Katie tries to be good and lets Alicia watch her.

4. What Would It Take by @herochicklyrrie007 [G, Cho/Luna]

Luna's tired of no one believing she and Cho are more than friends, maybe it's time to do something to show the world how they feel about each other?

5. House Points by @bee-prescott [T, Hermione/Minerva]

A vignette of Minerva and Hermione's life together

6. Chocolate-Stained Fingertips by @slythercrux [G, Hermione/Luna]

After the war, Hermione slowly learns to find beauty in the slow rhythm of her everyday life. (And Luna finds her voice again without needing to utter a single word.)

7. Harpy by @hermioneclone [M, Narcissa/Ginny]

The new owner of the Holyhead Harpies is getting under Ginny's skin.

8. Spare you the pain by @an-organism [G, Millicent/Astoria]

Three days into a stay at St. Mungo's, Astoria wakes to an all-too-familiar face. Millicent wishes the both of them could be anywhere else.

9. the lady of the lake by @nanneramma [M, Giant Squid/Lily]

During a swim, Lily comes into her own.

10. She would’ve made such a lovely bride (what a shame she’s a lesbian) by @caitiewantstobeavadakedavrad [M, Narcissa/Marlene]

Nice dress, princess. Those three simple words destroy Narcissa’s wedding

11. Wrapped in Love by @mugsdontlie [M, Minerva/Pomona]

It’s a cosy late afternoon and Minerva helps Pomona take care of their plants in the greenhouse.

12. toss me, turn me by nocturn [T, Millicent/Pansy]

Waking is always the worst.

13. Never Again by @fiestylilmetalbendingqueen [M, Narcissa/Lily]

Narcissa's holding out hope for a hopeless situation.

14. Trophy by @byrainchance [M, Katie/Angelina]

Katie and Angelina share a post-game celebration.

15. Divination by @leftsidedown [G, Bellatrix/Sybil]

Bellatrix is pregnant, and that means cravings. Good thing her wife's psychic?

16. Interchange by @padaminpadam [T, Fleur/Angelina]

Fleur’s dress was the colour of a ghost, like a hunter wearing the skin of her prey.

17. Work can wait, my love by @cottagewhore [G, Hermione/Narcissa]

Hermione gets sick, luckily Narcissa is there to take care of her

18. Sweat it Out by strawhouses [M, Pansy/Ginny]

Pansy’s a hell of a Keeper, actually; it’s just that Ginny is in a constant state of wanting to mess her up.

19. Words Are All We'll Have by @rhiaflamesong [M, Lavender/Millicent]

Her boldness to act on her feelings was too little, came too late.

20. Beyond The Veil by @miss-grimwood [T, Bellatrix/Lily]

Bellatrix never meant for them to hurt Lily, she just wanted her all for herself.

21. Daffodils Swaying With Pansies by @hadesvampire [T, Narcissa/Pansy]

Narcissa has watched Pansy matured, always spending some time during summer breaks at Malfoy Manor. But she was never caught watching Pansy until this moment.

22. A Most Suitable Suitor by mouldy_voldy [G, Astoria/Pansy]

Astoria has brought home a prospective suitor from a respectable family. Mrs Greengrass has thoughts.

23. Going Beyond by @bleepbloopbotz [T, Hermione/Bellatrix]

Using a time-turner, Bellatrix arrives in the future of Hogwarts and meets a remarkable witch.

24. desperately mine by @fantasyborn [M, Astoria/Daphne]

Her sister may be set to marry Draco Malfoy but Astoria will always belong to Daphne.

25. Whispered Secrets by @digthewriter [T, Tonks/Ginny]

Whispered secrets turn to forbidden love. She holds your hand and you don't want to let go.

26. Flawless by @schmem14 [T, Hermione/Marietta]

Hermione has to work with an old enemy. It doesn't help that she's attracted to the one person who could ruin her career forever.

27. skin so soft by @mrsprobie [G, Hermione/Pansy]

Hermione is on a work trip with Pansy and they have to share a hotel room. The problem? There's only one bed.

28. She Got There First by @sliebman10 [T, Alice/Narcissa]

When Narcissa finds out Voldemort's plans for Alice and Frank, she has to protect her former girlfriend from that fate.

29. comfort in the absence of light by @picklesonjupiter [M, Marlene/Dorcas, Narcissa/Lily]

An attempt at normalcy after the war.

30. the air and lingers (resilience) by @blue--dreaming [T, Astoria/Ginny]

Ginny is curious, and Astoria finds her confidence.

31. I Will Stay If You Dare by @hawksquill [M, Hermione/Tonks]

Sometimes Hermione's friends with benefits arrangement with Tonks feels like the only simple thing in her life. But that's about to change.

32. leaning over the edge by @iamsiriuslyriddikulus [E, Pansy/Ginny]

Back at Hogwarts months after the war, Ginny is haunted by memories and nightmares. Only Pansy can offer relief.

33. dinner on saturday by @silv3reyedstranger [T, Pansy/Ginny]

they've certainly come a long way from being enemies, and things are different now. maybe, just maybe, they're ready for the next step.

Read all double drabbles in the collection on AO3!

[zarvasace]

7/11/23

dazzling diamond danger (5/6)

Yay! We have an end goal! I think this will end tomorrow! :) This chapter is about 2.3k? Anyway I'll post it under the cut because of AO3 being down, though it'll go there when things calm down. You'll miss out on some italics, and there will be extra spaces between paragraphs, but oh well. Enjoy for now! EDIT: got it up on AO3, here's the link for future reference

---

Warriors couldn't relax. The clock in the corner ticked on, as if to remind him over and over that three Heroes were missing. 

Wind, Legend, and Four had a room in a separate portion of the castle, which made Warriors nervous, but he hadn't pushed because the staff was already harried with the ball and other guests, and with so many people around, he'd assumed that the three wouldn't be targeted as related to him. For all the work he'd done to clear out traitors and assassins, he knew a few sleepers remained that hated him. 

He could only hope that those three hadn't run afoul of anyone like that. 

As much as Warriors enjoyed socializing, balls could be difficult. He was a public figure, and generally copied Zelda at these things, staying rather aloof from all the guests with a glass of wine in his hand that he rarely sipped on. The glass made it harder to sign, but it also kept people from asking him to dance, where it was impossible to sign. He only enjoyed that with people he knew and trusted.

He didn't want to dance right now, anyway. A pit burned in his stomach. Those three wouldn't have gone down easily, but no guards reported hearing anything like a fight. 

"Wars," someone said, and Warriors turned to see Twilight and Hyrule, who had volunteered to do some investigative work. His heart rose, then fell at the expressions they wore. 

"We found this." Twilight raised the fabric in his hand, a pleasant spring green hat. 

Warriors made a face and took the hat. Legend's. He glanced up at Twilight, eyebrows raised in a question. 

Twilight shrugged. "Nothing else. It was shoved under a couch in a little parlor. Wolfie tracked them down to tunnels under the castle, but there was only a single path from there to the dining room."

"I think they're outside the castle," Hyrule added. He looked rather nice, if Warriors could say so. Warriors himself had handpicked nearly everything that Hyrule wore, though Hyrule had vetoed a few things based on texture and fit. The lavender and red didn't seem like they would work together, but Hyrule's complexion brought it all together. 

His news didn't make Warriors very happy. Warriors nodded and pressed his lips together, thinking. He handed the hat back to Twilight and his glass of wine off to a servant. 

'We need to find them, sooner rather than later. The others?'

"We need to find them, sooner rather than later," Twilight repeated for Hyrule. He nodded. "I agree. Time and Sky are off questioning people, and Wild's wandering the castle halls."

'Alone?'

"He has Impa with him," Hyrule added, anticipating the worry. 

Warriors let out a breath. He nodded again. 'There isn't much else we can do right now,' he signed, with Twilight echoing him out loud. 'Someone needs to stay here in case they get back.'

"Twi and I can go back to the tunnels," Hyrule volunteered. "Find Wolfie again, maybe, and see if there's another clue."

'Check back in here in an hour,' Warriors told them. 'So if someone else goes missing, we'll know quickly.'

The other two left, dodging dancers and serving people. The orchestra played beautiful music that lilted over everyone's heads, but at the moment, it grated on Warriors's ears. 

Damn it all. He'd wanted to give them a nice evening, with an excuse to dress up, eat some indulgent food, and forget about fighting for a while. Instead, three of their brothers were missing, and nobody could relax. 

A determined-looking young woman in a sky blue dress stepped around a nearby group of nobles, and Warriors hurried to go get more wine from the servants around Zelda. 

---

When Wind and Legend heard Four's call, they opened the closet door to see Four sitting on top of one of the noble Darby's bodyguards that had stayed behind to guard them. The bodyguard's chest rose and fell, but he didn't move. 

Four, now full-sized (for him), smiled up at them like a cat, though Wind didn't think he'd appreciate the comparison. "Your bag's on the hook there, Legend," he said, pointing. "Can I get my chair back, please?" 

"Yeah." Legend put his hand on the textured wallpaper to steady himself as he reached up to pick his bag off the hook by the closet door. He rummaged inside. 

They were very lucky it had been dumped so close by. Wind had worried for a bit there. He went to check the bodyguard's pulse. 

"You got him good," Wind said. Strong pulse, oozing head wound. 

"You'd be surprised what lengths someone will go to to get a mouse out of their hair." Four sounded distracted, and accepted Legend's help getting back into his wheelchair. He didn't often use the buckle across the hips, but he did them up tonight. 

Wind smiled. "That's what you did?" 

"Harder than it sounds," Four laughed. He tugged the tie out of his hair and ran his fingers through it, smoothing it down somewhat. "Where to now?" 

Legend shook his cane out of its collapsed state and pointed down the dim hallway. "There's noise the other way, so I say that this way is a study. We need to be stealthy."

"Oh, don't worry," Wind said as they started to move. "We're so stealthy. Did you put your cane in your bag, too?"

"Right before getting grabbed, yeah, I didn't want them to take it or break it. I put way too much effort into these enchantments."

"At least we have one weapon," Four sighed. "I'm such an idiot for leaving my sword. I should have realized that I wouldn't be able to keep my mind off of it."

Wind reached into his jacket and pulled out one of his knives, the one he'd purchased in Skyloft. It had a beautiful handle inlaid with cloud-shaped opal. "Two weapons."

Legend tucked his cane in his belt to rummage through his bag. "What do you want, Four? Fire rod? Oh, wait, Wars still has that." 

"I thought we decided against arson anyway."

"We decided against heavy arson as a solution," Wind said. "A bit of fire won't hurt."

"Boomerang?" Legend asked, pulling out a yellow one. 

"Sure." Four took it, hefted it, and Wind was scared now. 

The three of them crept through the mansion, mostly following Legend's lead. Wind wasn't familiar with big houses like this, with dark wood paneling and themed rooms, but he figured that Legend had a bit more experience with them, since he chose doors and hallways confidently. 

Wind had worried a little about Four's wheelchair being loud, but he shouldn't have. The noise came from a few jingling bits and squeak of the wheels, no more than Legend with his cane charms or Wind with the wooden click of his foot. 

His stomach rumbled. He smiled sheepishly at the halfhearted sharp look Legend sent him. 

They seemed to be alone in the mansion, or at least in this part of it, so Wind dared to speak. 

"Hey. Legend. You mentioned a cake in your bag for a week," he whispered.  "Why did you carry a cake in your bag for a week?" 

"Got caught up in a fetch quest for a witch," Legend whispered back. 

"A witch wanted a cake?" Four asked. 

"No, she wanted frogs."

Wind grinned. Legend had a lot of stories, but he could very, very bad at telling them sometimes, especially when distracted. Like right now. "So why did you have the cake?" 

"Hilda made it."

"Legend," Four sighed. "Could you start at the beginning?" 

Legend glanced at him, eyes shining with a bit of mischief. "I was born on the day that cherry blossoms—"

"Legend!" Wind covered his mouth to keep in his snort. 

"Okay, okay. Hilda made a cake for Zelda. Some girl friendship thing, I don't know why. I was on my way to deliver it when the witch of the woods landed right in front of me and said she needed frogs, or she'd turn me into a frog. Now, it's a documented fact that I dislike being small animals without hands—"

"It is?" Wind asked, confused. 

Legend barreled on. "—and that witch can be nice but also fickle, so really, I had no choice but to leave the cake in there for a week while I found her the requisite number of frogs."

They approached a large, dark wooden door carved with stags. 

"That's a fun story," Four said. "But I'm confused about the, and I quote, 'documented fact that you hate—'"

"This is the study." Legend interrupted, putting his hand on the brass door knob and turning. "We'll find our evidence in here."

Wind and Four exchanged a look. They'd press him later. 

The study was dark, like most of the house, and not just because of the light. The decor itself seemed to exude an aura of malevolence, for all that it was deer- and nature-themed. Wind would have thought that it would be pretty and cute inside, but the paintings were all a bit gory, and two taxidermied deer heads hung on the walls. That in itself wasn't bad, but combined with everything else? Weird. 

Legend lit the oil lamp on the desk.

"I'll check the desk," Wind said as the door closed behind them. 

Legend headed for the back wall. "I've got the cabinet."

"So I'll look at everything else." Four started on the chest of drawers by the door. He opened one drawer, then picked out something tan and threw it at Wind, who caught it with his face. It smelled like coffee. "A bag to throw everything in."

Wind pulled the fabric off his face and gave Four a dirty look, receiving another catlike smile in return. With a shake of his head, Wind unfolded the conveniently-shaped tote bag and sat down in the very fancy leather armchair to look through the desk. 

He saw a lot of old pens, miscellaneous scraps of paper, a few logbooks… and lots and lots of suspicious-looking receipts. He ended up piling as much as he could into the bag, feeling it get heavier and heavier with paper. Legend dropped a stack in there, too, tied with a bit of twine. 

"I think that's all I can carry," Wind said once the pile in the bag reached the lip. He looped both straps over his elbow. Heavy, yes, but not to the point he couldn't carry it. 

"I didn't find anything immediately incriminating." Four shut a trunk under one of the gory deer paintings and shot a distrustful look up at the frame. "Besides these. I'm weirded out."

"Let's go, then," Legend said. He left Wind with the bag and opened the study door again. 

A woman stood on the other side, dressed in a servant's uniform, with narrow shoulders and a sharp chin. Her hand hovered over where the doorknob had been. She and Legend stared at each other for a moment, and then her eyes roamed around the study. 

Legend slammed the door in her face and threw the deadbolt, swearing. 

"Roberts?" Four guessed, his voice a hiss. 

"Yep. Great timing." 

Wind's heart rate rose, and he swallowed. The motion scraped up against the bruises. "Other door, then." He spun around and threw open the smaller door to the side, revealing a wide servant's staircase down to what looked like a door to the outside. 

"Actually?" Wind said. "Score. We're out."

"Stairs?" Four winced, looking down. 

Legend bumped the hand of his cane against the doorframe, collapsing it again, and he shoved it into his belt. "Wind, hand Four the bag, we're grabbing his chair with him in it."

"Uh…"

Wind nodded, seeing what Legend did: they didn't have time to do anything else, and Four was light enough that it would work. He dumped the bag in Four's lap and squared his shoulders. 

Four engaged the brake levers on the front, locking the wheels in place, face pale but set. He wrapped his arms around the bag in his lap. "Be careful."

The big door to the study behind them clicked as, presumably, the woman worked the lock with a pick. 

"Ready," Legend said, finding things to hold on the back and bottom of the chair. Wind did the same and nodded. "Go."

They lifted. The whole thing was heavier than the bag alone, but manageable with handholds and a partner. Wind had to step carefully, looking where he placed his feet. Legend called out every stair step so they descended evenly.

With two steps left, the door above them opened. Wind glanced upward to see the woman thief, Roberts, standing at the top of the stairs, face twisted. She started down the stairs after them. 

Wind swore, just a bit louder, and he and Legend fell out of sync for the last few feet. Four grunted as they all but dropped him. 

"Sorry, sorry," Wind said. "We gotta go."

"At the risk of sounding cliche and rude," Four said, pulling his brakes off, "duh." 

Legend pulled out his cane again, yanked open the door, and shuffled the two of them out into the courtyard. Wind grabbed a nearby garden chair and wedged it under the door handle to buy them a bit more time. 

"Come on, come on, come on!" Wind called, and the three of them dashed across the grassy courtyard into the dark stone city, a probably-murderous thief that abetted insurance fraud right behind them, her white servant's bonnet floating in her wake like a bird. 

[mixed-kester]

eighty two.

A/N: Holy shit this one is long. Glorified word vomit. Not proofread. Need feedback, very badly.

Summary: Kaeya's perspective on me pulling for Wanderer basically.

Once, I saw him in a clearing peppered with mint and roses. along with a round violet tree and the small spirits of the-

"Wrong!"

A frustrated groan and the subsequent crumpling of paper can be heard downstairs, in the living room.

"What's up with them?" Kaeya asks, not lifting his eye into the crime novel he is reading. Oh, the detective already caught on? This novel is quite interesting.

He felt Keqing's sharp glance at him. He heard her write something.

Tap. Tap.

Engrossed in his reading, he reached out for the note with his other hand.

Thinking of new name for a certain Wanderer.

"Hmm? Interesting. Why?" Kaeya mused.

He heard her shuffle her papers again.

Tap tap.

I don't know. Never told me.

Kaeya only hummed, and turned the next page.

I was out hunting, always searching for the gems of hopes and dreams. but what i saw is far more beautiful than the words I now bid thee.

"Argh! Come on, asshole, come home already!" Kaeya heard them yell in front of the Sacred Sakura. Throwing down their (now) empty 'primogem' bag, they sat on the stairs and sulked, sighing.

Ignoring the shrine maidens' pointed glances and whispers, he sat beside them. He saw Keqing do the same.

"Come on, let's get moving. You want him 'home', yes?" Kaeya looked at their quite depressing disposition. 

"It's still ten days, Est-Handler." Keqing hastily added. "If we help Ganyu and Hu Tao with their commissions, that will help greatly with our chances of him... coming home."

The wind bites.

"I'm so tired." Both of them heard the Handler mumble.

"Then you should-"

"Hell no. If I need to walk through a thousand miles just to have the chance to get him, I will." The Handler now stood, brushing off dust in their backside.

"I will not have him the satisfaction of giving up. He relishes in it." They said, resolute.

"Then we will join you." Keqing stood up as well, walking beside them.

"Heh. Very well." Kaeya now joined them. "But remember, you owe me one for that pep talk."

"Yes, yes. What sword do you want?" The three of them now walk forward.

"Well, I saw this quite exquisite jade sword from Liyue..."

With hair the shade of spring once the night and day have met...

"Have you got anything?" The voice of the Wanderer grates his ears.

The Handler now looks deep in thought. They seem to be recalling something; maybe those countless sheets of paper has a name that is suited for him?

"Don't rush them." Kaeya tells him. The Wanderer glares at him.

"Whatever." He scoffs.

"Uh...I really, really apologize for this, Kaeya and Keqing, but can both of you, um..." they make shooing gestures.

He nods, understanding, and both of them leave the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

"You think they will tell us?" Kaeya says out loud, walking towards the balcony.

"They always do, don't they?" Keqing leans into the railings, and takes a deep breath.

Kaeya does not answer.

The wind blows, sending the wilted leaves into a dance of brown and red amidst the sunset.

With the eyes that betray his being...

"81. Why isn't it working?!" He saw the faintest streak of blue in the night sky as he comforts his handler, now distraught.

"Let's go home. The others are worried." Kaeya holds her upright.

They are all back at the Sacred Sakura. It is midnight, so most of the shrine maidens are thankfully asleep.

Keqing is looking out for any troublemakers. For peace of mind, she said. You can never guess what happens.

He hears a sniffle.

They're...crying? Over this person?

and the hands that reveal his debt...

"Last wish. Then we'll go home." The Handler now straightens up, with determination in their eyes as they look at him.

Kaeya nods.

He sees them climb the Sacred Sakura effortlessly, as they have done for 47 times.

He sees them reach for something in their coat; something bright, lustrous and lavender.

He sees them pray unto it, as if it can guide their prayers to beings beyond this plane.

He sees them brace to gain momentum.

Whoosh.

With a name I then now bring.

Nothing.

"Come on now, Handler, let's go-"

Kaeya was almost swept off his feet by the sudden wind gust, and, just as suddenly he was blinded with gold.

The brightest gold he has ever seen, second to that of-

I can't see them.

Stricken with panic, Kaeya tries to go forward, but the light is too bright, and the wind is too great.

He can hear their shouts of glee and joy amidst it, yelling profanities in the air.

He hears laughter.

Tinkling, melodious laughter.

Just as suddenly, the gold light dissipates.

Kaeya recovers himself, his eyesight forming afterimages of the tree. He closes his eyes and tries to steady himself.

With the name I lest forget.

Kaeya hears the Handler stumble down the tree.

"Asshole!" He heard them stagger down, stomp forward and slap a very pissed off Wanderer.

Finally looking up, Kaeya sees a very angry Wanderer being hugged by his Handler, protesting, yet not pushing them off.

...his?

"Well, this is quite the momentous occasion." Kaeya stands up to his fullest height.

The Handler now, finally, lets go of him and faces Kaeya.

"Handler. It is done?" Kaeya nearly jumps at Keqing's voice.

"Yep. Finally. But first..." they look at Wanderer, smirking.

"Tch. Why don't they- all of you, introduce yourself to me first?" The Wanderer looks at the both of them with contempt.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Kaeya Alberich, the Handler's sword." Kaeya introduces himself casually.

"I am Keqing, the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing." Keqing does the formal Liyue greeting.

"For me? Well, I am just a simple Handler, but Esther will do just fine. Just..not outside though." they introduce themselves.

"Esther...huh. Not bad."

"As for me? I have gone by many names, each one more eminent than the last..." The Wanderer glowers down on them. "But that is all water under the bridge now."

Wanderer lowers his hat, seemingly embarrassed at the Handler's attitude, but they grab him by the shoulders to face the both of them. He almost snaps, but gives up and looks at the both of them.

"This person named me Kocho. I suggest you call me the same, else you get blasted off by a vortex."

At the night, his voice shall ring For his name, I won’t regret.

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

I've been meaning to make a post on the new legends game since the announcement, but have continuously had stuff come up so finally getting around to it now. Noting now that I've only seen very little (I'll mention what beneath the cut) about it so if any of this has been proven/disproven, my bad I guess lmao. But yeah, with that in mind, these are my very late night thoughts/predictions for the game.

So starting off I want to say that the only things I have seen on this game is the trailer and that apparently the whole game happens within Lumiose City. My kneejerk reaction to it happening purely in Lumiose was disappointment but then I took a step back and remembered that this will be Lumiose before it becomes the city we know from X and Y. Realistically I cannot see them making the areas of the game either 1. any smaller than Legends Arceus or 2. if they are smaller, have any less areas than Legends Arceus. Like with all the work they've done since Sword and Shield with bigger areas, I have faith that the sizing won't be an issue here.

Plot wise I am a little nervous, but I think a lot of that is just because there's so much that is unknown for now. Like tbh we don't even know if it'll have the same elements as Legends Arceus. Like for all we know it's a level by level game that once you finish a level, you can't go back because that part of Lumiose will have been built. Like I doubt that's the case, I imagine it'll be similar to Legends Arceus because they know that works, but we just don't know for sure yet.

Much like everyone else, I do hope Zygarde gets a proper story and tbh I don't want the A in the title to be another legendary (I do have a theory that instead of a new one, it may be Arceus but we'll see), but as long as it's written well, I will be happy. I also do wonder if the swords of justice will play a role given them being based on the 3 musketeers and feeling like they should be in Kalos.

More broadly plotwise, I am also super happy that Kalos was picked because tbh it's one of my least favourite games given how many missed opportunities I felt it had (likely due to the lack of a 3rd game) so I am excited to hopefully see those gaps be filled.

But yeah, overall I will say though, with Legends Arceus being my favourite pokemon game, it does have a lot to live up to, and that makes me anxious.

As I'm sure is the case with most people, my main hope for this game is that there are new mega pokemon (and regional forms). And tbh, I hope that any pokemon that already has a mega doesn't get a new one... maybe with the exception of Blastoise and Venusaur because it'd be nice for Charizard to not have the special treatment lmao. I don't really have any hopes for specific pokemon to get a new form or mega, maybe something I wouldn't usually use. Like I had never used Muk before Sun and Moon and now Alolan Muk is a top 10 pokemon ever for me.

Starter wise, my first guess is that they will pick all 3 from ones that aren't generation 6 or generations that were picked for Legends Arceus. Sprigatito, Sobble and Torchic were the first to come to mind, but I also have a nagging (affectionate) feeling that Squirtle may also be picked. If I'm right, I will likely pick Sobble because I've never done a runthrough with it, but if it is Squirtle and not Sobble, I really don't know because I've used all three of those pretty evenly. Then again, Lavender specifically came from another region iirc (did we ever talk about the implications of this? Like the 'Hisuian' starter forms may not actually be from Hisui if he brought them along from where he was from. Like I know pokemon says it's the area that determines the form but it takes years/generations to adjust so there's likely another region that had at least similar if not the same final forms as the Hisuian starters) so they could use that as a reason to finally give the generation 6 starters a mega and/or new final form.

And there is probably more but it's 1am here so those thoughts will have to wait for another time.

[entity-unknown7]

Hayo. I'm the creator of a story called "Not all as it seems." Which is a story I randomly made on wattpad because I was bored. But my account eventually got lost and it can't be continued anymore so I'm going to rewrite it here because my babes Kaydenn sent me a post of Akari and Yeri and now I must continue to write with it starting from the beginning. BECAUSE I CAN. :3

Akari's pov:

I stood in my room. Blankly staring down the camera in the corner of my room. I think it's creepy but he insists to have it here. I try my best to ignore it but it's hard to get dressed for school when there's a suspension that he could be watching. So I grab my school uniform and step out of my room to change in the bathroom, which gladly has no camera. I put on my school uniform and step out of the bathroom. I walk into my kitchen and look around only for my attention to be drawn to another camera. I don't bother eating today so I flip off the camera and run out my front door.

I find myself on the street and I start walking towards school. I hold the strap of my bag tightly. I feel like I'm being followed but I turn around and see nothing. I'm too paranoid.. I've always felt uncomfortable walking alone. Ever sense that day it's just been... awful to think about. I look down at my feet as I walk before reaching into my bag to look at a paper my... "Boss." Gave me. It's just another girl to take down, just for his own enjoyment.

I look at the picture and name carefully. "Yeri...Nakaya..?" I read to myself out loud. That's a new one. Luckily we go to the same school so this should be easier than last time. Sense I don't have to track them down or anything. I look at the picture again. It shows a girl with an ashy red hair color and almost lavender colored eyes. She's pretty but it's not like we'll talk for long. I slip the Paper back into my bag and blow my pink colored hair out of my eyes.

I sigh when I finally make it to school. It's so big and well- it looks like a school. I walk to the courtyard, which is just some open space with a few trees. I made it earlier than I usually do. Only 15 minutes until the doors open so I look around for this red haired girl.

Soon enough I spot her. She's leaning against a tree and she looks half asleep. I get slightly concerned for her well-being but I shake the feeling off. I hesitantly walk up to her, not wanting to startle her with my random showing to her.

"Uhm- Hello. Your Yeri, right?"

I say, clearly nervous when speaking to her. I smile softly, like I want her to pity me or something. Her eyes open and she looks down at me which immediately makes me self conscious about my hight.

"Yea? Do I know you..?"

Yeri asks me in a clearly tired state.

"No, you don't. But I'd love to get to know you."

I say in a joyful tone. I'm only trying to flirt for the possibility that he might let me go. It's not like I'm interested in this target.

"Well it's nice to meet you then. You are?"

She says as she gives me a tired smile as well as holding her hand out for me to shake.

"I'm Akari! Akari Hayashi."

I answer as I take her hand to shake it. Smiling as I do so.

"Sooo.. I can't help but be curious. Would you maybe want to come over to my place and hangout after school?"

I ask her. Hoping Yeri doesn't find my sudden request to be weird or suspicious.

"I guess so. It's not like I have anything better to do."

She responds with a slight smile.

I nod. Trying to seem happy and excited. As I walk off to go to class I can't help but feel terrible about what I have to do. She seems like such a nice girl and my only intention is so cruel.

I wish it was different..

(Lmao, I hope you enjoyed that. I know there is no context yet but that comes in the next time I write. Bye bye for now! :3 )

[nightcall99]

Notes from 17.3.24

HS is gone again. I feel very tired. Outside of my regular routine, I think I'm agoraphobic or something.

Why are we both having dreams to do with bathrooms?

Here's some life ranting:

The 3D guilt things are coming back again. AL is going overseas soon and she casually let it slide that her 4 birds are going to be left at home by themselves for 2.5 weeks and that her mum wants her to ask another one of our co-workers, TC, to look after them. But I'm closer to her than he is, and instead of asking me directly, she dropped a hint like this to guilt me into offering to look after them. I said what she wanted me to say but my heart clearly wasn't in it. I don't want to. I just don't. Maybe I might have been open to it if she asked me more directly and given me more time to mentally prepare for it but not like this. Not 5 days before you leave. (And even then, I still don't want to). She said she'll just leave a mound of food for them and set up a camera and if they die, they die. And then I said, give me the keys to your house, I'll look in on them every few days. You'll have to tell me what to do though. And she changed the subject. Like wtf? Am I an animal abuser if I don't insist insistently on looking after them? I can't deal with this anymore. Why do I make up these scenarios.

To be honest I'm kind of relieved that she's going away for a bit. She can be very exhausting. I never know if we're actually friends or if it's a keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer type situation. Sometimes in my life I think that if you peer in close enough, it's actually like that with everyone. Is that just the nature of human relationships? Are you supposed to feel a little hatred every now and then from someone, and you to them? I've always felt this my whole life. Everything is so low-vibe. I'm low vibe. I can't help it.

I don't know what I'm doing. The other day TC tried to convince me to give him my money for him to invest. I don't know much about money but I know used-car salesman tactics when I see them. He said, Think of me as a bank. You get interest from the bank every month don't you? I said, No, I never mix friendship with money. I don't think that he expected me to say that. Firstly, I said, do not talk to me about this crap at 9am in the morning. He IGNORED, and kept going even though I AGAIN SAID, STOP, ask me later when the caffeine has kicked in. And then he was like, I know you're paranoid Kath, so we'll sign a statutory declaration so you can rest assured I won't run away with your money. ????? We both know stat decs are not legally binding. After, he kept going on about bitcoin and tried that angle, saying like you and me and put in money blah blah this could happen. STFU. He has started undermining me in other ways lately, too many to count, and somehow I'm still nice to him. I tell myself I'm doing it to survive. That it doesn't matter anyway. The big boss came in and he was bootlicking like you wouldn't believe. Being amongst the energy of it make me sick. Somehow we thought that striking others down in order to get ahead was fun. I hate this game.

I don't know what I'm doing. There's an 18 year old shop girl who I think is flirting with me, and I think I'm flirting back. Am I that bored? Is this legal? My intern continues to fart all over the place. I spray lavender spray here and there but he doesn't get the hint. I took him aside briefly today to tell him his voice is too loud and everyone and their mum can hear his conversation regarding very sensitive matters with the patient, and he was picking his nose the whole time. I can't. Is this real? Still though, I am starting to feel really bad about not being more attentive to his academic progression. I honestly just ignore him most of the time, outside of being polite. Well, barely that.

Everyday, nothing changes. My perspective on the world is like night and day, depending on the energy. But still, nothing changes.

[notebookmusical]

I will try to sum up some thoughts but don't want to make too many predictions or anything. I'm sure there will be some surprises and maybe subjects and sounds I'm not thinking of..which makes it fun! I think the genre listed doesn't really matter and never really does. I mean even Folklore has some pop and she is a pop artist so I don't bother paying attention to it. I just get folklore vibes from the title I guess and the poets connection..otherwise she could've called it something else. So that makes me very interested in the title song and where the title came from and how she picked it. I am confused why it wouldn't start with that song..if it seems like the album is telling a story but idk. Starting with a collab is also a first so I would be interested in that one..will it be a collab like Exile where she wanted a male perspective maybe? I actually just thought of that now lol..before it just reminds me of Endgame. Idk if that fits honestly. I think it could be a single..like I said similar to Lavender Haze vibes, which didn't quite feel like an opener either, and I doubt we would get a pre released single. Although Post can do different genres such as rock or rap which makes it interesting. I will make sure to listen to his recent album which I never did, before this comes out. I enjoyed his last album. But it must fit with the album or else they could have collabed on a vault song. I'll have to listen to Florence's album again too. I see what you mean about the album, which kinda shocked me that people felt that way because it doesn't quite seem like such a personal breakup album to me with some of the titles but people think the opposite. Titles like fresh out the slammer and Clara Bow and the Manuscript don't seem as similar and personal as titles from Midnights to me which felt directly her life. These seem like putting herself in a story almost or I said it could be like what she did in rep with fresh out the slammer. Even but Daddy I love him has a Lana or No Body No Crime vibe to it..but idk. I don't want to overthink it. There's also been debate about the aesthetic or department being academics or being like a police case where she's giving evidence. That honestly would have never occured to me at all lol. I honestly didn't think of that as a lyric..omg. also some of the titles seem so hard to imagine as lyrics in a song lol. I just picked a favorite from each side, but liked side D the most I think. After thinking about it more, I think my favorites are the tortured poets society, so long London or Florida with Florence, who's afraid of little old me, and Clara Bow and the Manuscript. I always seem to like her last songs and wonder if the bonus track adds to the ending. But I like them all and excited for the album! I hope we can find out more info about it somewhat at least.

i saw a rumored list of who worked on what songs earlier — not sure how valid/real they are, but i am very, very intrigued by it! i keep trying to call it "tortured poets society" instead of department 😭 sooner or later i'll get used to it. i haven't listened to post malone much, maybe i'll do that for one of my upcoming album of the days! i wonder which songs will be a single on this album, and if we'll get any music videos. do you have any predictions? i feel like i'm at a blank. i saw someone talk about the evidence thing which i didn't think of but think that's such an interesting theory!! sorry this was a shorter reply; i didn't realize i hadn't replied and wanted to reply to you before i go out of town this weekend 🤍 hope you have a lovely weekend and talk to you soon!! xx